Comments on: Post Wedding Blues http://firstpersonsingular.org/2009/10/19/post-wedding-blues/ Just another WordPress weblog Wed, 28 Jul 2010 19:47:05 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: Singletude: A Positive Blog for Singles http://firstpersonsingular.org/2009/10/19/post-wedding-blues/comment-page-1/#comment-2703 Singletude: A Positive Blog for Singles Tue, 27 Oct 2009 17:00:12 +0000 http://firstpersonsingular.org/?p=6926#comment-2703 You haven't been left out! Although I don't know you personally, I'm willing to bet there's nothing about you as an individual that led to you being single and your friends being married. Finding a compatible person at the right time (when they're ready and you're ready) has way more to do with chance than anything any one of us can do. I'm sorry this wedding was so rough for you. When I go to weddings now, if I have a few moments of melancholy, I usually think, "Well, would YOU want to marry that guy?" The answer is invariably no. Not one of my friends' husbands appeals to me, however nice he may be (and thank God for that!). Remembering that helps me to be happy for the couple in question because there's nothing for me to be envious of. Plus, it underscores just how rare it really is to find someone who is right for YOU. An awareness of that rarity has helped me to stop blaming myself many a time. You haven’t been left out! Although I don’t know you personally, I’m willing to bet there’s nothing about you as an individual that led to you being single and your friends being married. Finding a compatible person at the right time (when they’re ready and you’re ready) has way more to do with chance than anything any one of us can do.

I’m sorry this wedding was so rough for you. When I go to weddings now, if I have a few moments of melancholy, I usually think, “Well, would YOU want to marry that guy?” The answer is invariably no. Not one of my friends’ husbands appeals to me, however nice he may be (and thank God for that!). Remembering that helps me to be happy for the couple in question because there’s nothing for me to be envious of. Plus, it underscores just how rare it really is to find someone who is right for YOU. An awareness of that rarity has helped me to stop blaming myself many a time.

]]> By: Amy http://firstpersonsingular.org/2009/10/19/post-wedding-blues/comment-page-1/#comment-2685 Amy Wed, 21 Oct 2009 00:18:30 +0000 http://firstpersonsingular.org/?p=6926#comment-2685 I totally feel your pain. It is even worse when it occurs in your own family. I was a very young aunt (12 years old when the grandkids started coming along). Never in my worst dreams did I imagine that one, two, three or even four - count them, four - nieces and nephews would make it to the altar before me. The second wedding was in July, and I have two more to attend before the end of the year. It's a bittersweet journey that I don't wish on anyone. I totally feel your pain. It is even worse when it occurs in your own family. I was a very young aunt (12 years old when the grandkids started coming along). Never in my worst dreams did I imagine that one, two, three or even four – count them, four – nieces and nephews would make it to the altar before me. The second wedding was in July, and I have two more to attend before the end of the year.

It’s a bittersweet journey that I don’t wish on anyone.

]]> By: Rachel http://firstpersonsingular.org/2009/10/19/post-wedding-blues/comment-page-1/#comment-2684 Rachel Tue, 20 Oct 2009 14:59:06 +0000 http://firstpersonsingular.org/?p=6926#comment-2684 Perfect! You're feeling exactly like you're supposed to: Absolutely miserable in your loneliness and jealous of the happy couple! You better get out and find yourself a mate! Okay, here is the antidote for this matrimanical nonsense: There is absolutely nothing wrong with you! There is, however, something very wrong with rituals that leave a large chunk of humanity feeling miserable. Let's celebrate life instead of a "perfect union"! Everybody who is alive can participate in that! And it might actually spread the happiness... Perfect! You’re feeling exactly like you’re supposed to: Absolutely miserable in your loneliness and jealous of the happy couple! You better get out and find yourself a mate!

Okay, here is the antidote for this matrimanical nonsense: There is absolutely nothing wrong with you! There is, however, something very wrong with rituals that leave a large chunk of humanity feeling miserable. Let’s celebrate life instead of a “perfect union”! Everybody who is alive can participate in that! And it might actually spread the happiness…

]]>