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Contest: How to Survive the Holidays If You’re Single
Christmas decorations are up, festive parties begin, and the 2012 holiday season gets underway. This is a high stress time of year, whether you’re overextended or underinvited. To sweeten the experience, FPS has a new contest, and the winner will get a copy of The Round House by Louise Erdrich, which just won the National Book Award. To enter, answer the question: what is your best single tip for surviving the holidays. Submit your entry using the Comments section. Include your first name. If you win, we’ll email for your U.S. shipping address, and telephone number. By submitting you’ll become an FPS subscriber (if you’re not already). Please submit only one tip per entry, though feel free to enter as often as you like. Deadline is December 14.
Safety in Numbers by Matthew Quick
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40 comments for “Contest: How to Survive the Holidays If You’re Single”
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buy myself a luxury gift I’ve been wanting for a while. gathering delicious eats and watching warm family holiday movies that transport to another time and place. I do all this while playing/admiring my new purchase. repeat until I fall asleep.
Do you have your luxury gift in mind for this year, Kay?
Make yourself holiday food! It’s so easy to decide that cooking for one is a pain and that I should just eat cheese and crackers or something frozen. But food is a huge part of the holiday season and I’m always pleased when I make the effort to cook something seasonal for myself. I deserve to eat Christmas cookies and stuffing, whether I’m alone or not.
I completely agree, Kinsey.
My luxury gift is my fabulous black lace and sequin bra from Victoria’s Secret. It reminds me that I am GORGEOUS.
Forget the massive consumerism and create meaningful ritual/tradition for yourself.
The amount of time and money people spend on buying Christmas gifts (that might never get used) is staggering to me. I know this energy could be harnessed for a better good.
I am NOT a holiday person, but I rally for my beloved niece and then try to plan a small solo trip for the first week or two of January – last year, it was Kripalu for New Year’s and then Brooklyn for a teacher training. The year before, I did a workshop at the Banff Centre for the Arts in Canada. I’m a little behind the 8-ball this year, but searching.
Framing the holidays with a January trip is great. Something really fun to look forward to!
Plus I knit like a crazy woman. Keeps me breathing. 🙂
I have family parties to attend at which I am either the only other single or the only single adult there–I usually bring a game (this year I’m making up trivia cards; one year I brought Christmas crackers and we took silly photos). I also try to spend time with children (if you enjoy that sort of thing).
First and foremost, I try not to over commit. And if I do agree to go to a holiday party, I always, always, always drive separately and I always, always tell the host ahead of time that I have to leave by a certain time. Then I make sure I park on the street…to make a quick getaway.
I’m not an overly social person on a regular day, so the holidays are exceptionally taxing. It bums me out to be around married couples with kids…so I try to limit that time as much as possible.
Oh, and I eat chocolate.
I had friends over for Hanukkah this past weekend and made sure, other than Latkes, to bake a rich chocolate dessert.
Best thing to do over the festive season for me is to grab my backpack and either go on a solo trip (or with a friend) somewhere exciting. This year I am going on a 3 week adventure to Myanmar. Last year it was Laos, Cambodia and Thailand. The year before it was India. A trip never disappoints. Even if you cannot go very far, pick an interesting destination, go with the flow and make the most of the time. There are always many amazing people you can meet on the way and many amazing places to discover. You never know what is around the corner.
I applaud your adventure, Helena, and getting out of town.
I’ve found I usually have a single guy friend willing to be my “fake date” when I need one. Last year for NYE I told a friend that I’d met on a dating site (we got along great but there just wasn’t romance, now he’s one of my favorite friends) that I would buy his ticket to the fancy party I was going to if he’d fulfill the general date roles–dress up, pick me up, kiss me at midnight. It was the perfect evening, and the best $75 I’ve ever spent! (I was still pretty recently out of a relationship and feeling very down about the idea of NYE without a date)
Somes like the plot of a romantic comedy, Sarah Jeanne. But of course in the movies, you’d end up falling in love.
I love your “fake” date, sarahjeanne, and so glad it worked for you. I think I’m going to wrangle one for me this NYE. Better get to work! But if that fails, I have the champagne at the ready!
My dog is an excellent NYE date.
This year’s NYE date is even MORE RomCom… I was at a Thanksgiving gathering and clicked with a gal who decided I would be perfect for a friend of hers. She texted him “I just met a cute, six foot two, librarian acrobat” to which he replied something along the lines of “yes please!”… and now he is flying in from New York (to Detroit) to be my NYE date.
I try very hard to do only the things I will have fun doing, and to limit the time when I’ll be bored or uncomfortable. I am a big believer that we all get to control access to ourselves. We decide with whom we want to interact, when and how, in person or the technology of our choice. I remind myself of that when I feel pressured to go somewhere out of a perceived obligation.
All that said, I decorate my house from top to bottom so I am very happy whenever I am home during the holiday season. I keep lights up through the winter to continue the cheers!
I’m picturing your house fully decorated Beth, and it’s a happy sight.
Although I am a fervent believer in Beth’s approach to the holidays (make our own happiness),HOLY SHIT Sarajeanne,can your friend text any other guys for NYE? I’d say that cell phone of hers is the modern day magic wand.
I think SarahJeanne needs to take care of her fellow single librarians first (hint, hint).
I make lists of the things I am grateful for, and share these lists with my closest and most supportive friends. Simple, but surprisingly powerful, especially when practiced daily.
Sharing gratitude. That’s great, Sandy.
My apartment is an oasis from the pressures of Christmas. I.e. you’d never know there was a Christmas in it. And so my over-burdered friends come over for relief. And I cheer them back up into the spirit to face another day out in the Christmas madness (commercialization of). Everybody feels better and I get hugs and kisses and baked goods.
Sounds calm at your place, Mark. I like it.
This is only my second Christmas alone so I am still trying to find best ways to get through the day. I do buy myself gifts AND I wrap them. (Works best if you buy these things weeks ahead of time so you forget what you bought! : ) ) I cuddle with my two rabbits and give them gifts as well, play Christmas movies. Last year I made an all out dinner for myself, but that was too much. I know I will have some nice wine with whatever I decide to eat and will try to include a food or dessert I crave but seldom ever have. (No idea yet what for this year!)
I wouldn’t give up on the “all out dinner” idea Paulette, even if it didn’t work last year. I’ve made myself extravagant meals on the holidays, and it’s really pleasurable.
If there are obligatory celebrations you must attend, enact the Power of Negative Thinking. Go ahead and dread it. Go ahead and imagine the worst case scenario. Most of the time, you’ll leave the event thinking, “that wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be.”
Interesting strategy, April. Expect the worst, and it’s got to be better.
I usually approach the holidays w/a healthy dose of skepticism and hopefulness mixed with obligation. This year I was invited by some (also childless) cousins to a destination Christmas (I have always wanted to take a trip for Christmas) and I’m going! I realized that my parents and siblings and their families will all carry on without me and it’s all fine.
One Christmas I rented out a (cheap) cabin in the woods nearby and read Dante’s Inferno by the fire. At night, the stars were so numerous that it looked like the trees were decorated with them. A getaway from Christmas doesn’t have to be expensive or exotic.
Julia, were you by yourself at the cabin?
Yep! A bit lonely, sure. But it taught me that I could survive the holidays by myself sans traditions and trappings and still be reasonably happy. I was glad I did it. This year I will be alone at home – but I’ll have the dogs with me. 🙂
One thing that never fails to kick my butt out of the Christmas blues is to do something nice for someone less fortunate. Sending a check to a local food bank reminds me that I have plenty to eat or volunteering for a shelter for abused women reminds me that being alone isn’t always bad. It puts things in perspective.
Always a great idea, and such a visceral way to feel gratitude.
Julia, so wonderful: the cabin and the helping others. I think gratitude is the precursor to happiness. That and eggnog. Cheers to all on FPS!
Another tip, and one I’m following this year:
If you know a big fun family, see if you can get yourself invited. A friend’s mother invited me over for Christmas Day at their house–a big, chaotic mess of happiness, kids, food, etc. Nobody cares who has a date and who doesn’t, we’ll be busy laughing and taking turns holding assorted babies.