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River of No Regrets

When I mull over the word regret, I think of grieving over a missed opportunity. In my view, regret bears no fruit, so I try to stay clear of it. But being human, every once in awhile, I dip a toe into that troubled water. Reviewing my romantic history (some of it passionate, some of it dull, some even sordid), I can say, with confidence, that I have no regrets. There’s not one relationship I wish I’d pursued. I’m certain there were no appropriate spouses who crossed my path. Professionally speaking, I’m on shakier ground. There are two pivotal moments I would’ve liked a redo, now with hindsight. But I refuse to get stuck there. Where do you stand on regrets?

River of No Regrets by Duy Huynh

Discussion

12 comments for “River of No Regrets”

  1. TC_Seattle says:

    I had a 30 year relationship that probably should have ended sooner than it did, but I feel few regrets. I gave it the time it needed to know it was truly over.

    Career path choices are the questions/regrets that persist.

  2. Petra says:

    Wendy, as always you bring up some very thoughtful questions. While I really like–and often love–my job, I still do have some career choice regrets, much like you and TC_Seattle.Fortunately, I also have a job that allows me to rectify some of those “choices”–I put the word in quotes because it was less of a conscious choice and more like inertia.

    With respect to romantic relationships, yes, a couple of regrets–mostly not getting out sooner. That said, I do not regret dating anyone that I’ve dated. I only regret the length of time with a couple of them.

    But at the end of the day, I have some great stories and anecdotes and look back with fondness (and really, I think some good stories are really what makes one’s life interesting, to self and others).

    • Petra says:

      Piggy-backing on my own comment (hit “submit” too soon!), there HAVE been a couple that I thought about marrying when I had to blow out the candles on a birthday cake. And in each of those two cases, the thought of being MARRIED to them was depressing. Dating, yes, married, not so much.

      • wendy says:

        I’m confused – you thought about marrying when “I had to blow out the candles on a birthday cake?”

        • Petra says:

          Wendy, when I blow out the candles on my birthday cake, I have a list of about 10 wishes, which sometimes included marrying someone. It’s never been the “winning wish” though. I know it’s silly and superstitious, but the wish thing is just a carryover from childhood when one got to make a wish and blow out the candles. Usually I wish for just being fabulous!

          I’d like to say that I’m being altruistic and selfless by wishing for world peace, but sadly, I usually wind up wishing for something that benefits me personally.

          • wendy says:

            I still wish on those birthday candles. And somehow, I still believe in them. Here’s to world peace!

    • wendy says:

      I also have relationships that could’ve been shorter, but I don’t have regrets about that. In addition to the anecdotes, I feel like I learned something from each experience.

  3. Gigi says:

    Tonight I am having regrets of going back on an on line dating site!
    I still can’t believe there are men out there that expect someone to drive over an hour to meet them not halfway but in the town they live in!
    And not one of them has excited me ): ugggg

    • wendy says:

      Why the regret, Gigi? I think it’s a good impulse to go back on an online dating site. It’s a vehicle to meet people.

  4. Leyla says:

    I don’t know if this is really the same as regret, but I have trouble accepting the way I am sometimes. I have trouble accepting how unfair life can be.

    • wendy says:

      You’re so right. Life is unfair sometimes. But in terms of the way you are, I’m sure you’re doing the best you can. Why the regrets?

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