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Enough of Not Enough-ism

Over the course of a long dating life, I’ve heard a few of these “pitfalls” as an explanation for why I don’t have a husband. #Basta

New Yorker cartoon by Liana Finck


14 comments for “Enough of Not Enough-ism”

  1. Petra says:

    Too notice-y??? WTH is that?

    • wendy says:

      What’s your best guess?

      • Petra says:

        The opposite of too quiet? Or the opposite of too plain?

        • wendy says:

          Ah, like noticeable?

          • Patricia says:

            To me, “notice-y” is more like one notices too much (and then perhaps complains about what has been noticed, or perhaps even just comments on it, or perhaps even celebrates it). This could refer to noticing another person’s faults (which is probably what garners “pitfall” status), but can also extend to just noticing what’s around one, and thereby making the person administering the “notice-y” judgement feel inadequate. I’ve seen this more than once!

          • wendy says:

            That sounds right.

  2. Bobbi says:

    Too independent. I absolutely LOVE your list, seems like we just can’t be accepted for who we are but should sacrifice ourselves and “settle” …..not gonna happen, so here we are ….

  3. Amy says:

    the last guy I dated actually sat me down and named off my “toos” It was pretty harsh. Especially when they are the worst things I think about myself, it is hard to hear it confirmed out loud by someone.

    • wendy says:

      Ugh. I’m sorry Amy. Would you like to share any of his “toos?”

      • Amy says:

        The one that stung was “too introverted” because I know this about myself but don’t see it as something that is going to change anytime soon. I think he just had a certain idea of what he wanted in a girlfriend and I just disappointed him. It was a good learning experience for me though, it is so not worth being with someone that cannot see your worth.

  4. Mark says:

    I only just recently woke up to some of the reasons I do not have a wife and children. Honestly, some of them are hard to stomach. But I am now and forever going to be ruthless honest with myself.

    • wendy says:

      To be honest with yourself is good (I’m not sure about the “ruthless” part). But be kind and generous with yourself, as well.

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