First Person Singular by Wendy Braitman

What To Bring To The Beach

It’s not just because I got back from a trip to Italy 15 days ago, and I’m trying to evoke its memories–like that morning in our Rome apartment when Miguel was out shooting photographs, and I had a rare moment, sitting still and alone, and grabbed a random book off the shelf, which I couldn’t put down. Sure, I’d seen the movie, with the dazzling Audrey Hepburn, but never got around to the actual novella, by Truman Capote. I’m here to tell you, Breakfast at Tiffany’s is GREAT. At 100+ pages, it’s not much of a time commitment, and will draw you in from the first sentence. A perfect book for the beach (or the city or the lake or the suburbs.)

Image: Umbrella (Orange): With Figure and Ball (Blue and Green) 2004, by John Baldessari

When It’s Time to Call a Plumber

I put off home repair. Do you? For months, I listened to my leaking faucet, felt guilty about wasting water (in an arid L.A.), but didn’t move into action. Then the handle on the water faucet got wobbly and hard to turn, but still I procrastinated. The slow drain in my bathroom sink was an annoyance but I could always use the one in the kitchen. Today, the toilet backed up, and I finally picked up the phone. Plumber on the way.

Update on If You’re 50 and Unmarried, Are you Gay? Columnist Ruth Marcus tells us that her friend Elena Kagan is definitely straight, and expounds on why it’s hard to find a husband when you’re the smart one. Read here.

Image: Painting by Yago Hortal, 2009. Acrylic on Paper

Cat and Mouse Game

On Saturday, I take Lily (visualize air quotes) to “Club Med.” Or at least that’s what I’m telling her. Instead, she’s being carted off to The Best Little Cathouse in L.A., where she’ll be boarded, cage free, in the “Lavender Group Room” during my trip to Italy. Lily is the first cat I’ve owned, and the more I know her, the more her behavior seems like so many men I’ve dated. Nestling close, purring in my ear one minute, and the next time I try to pick her up, she acts as if we’ve never met. And yet, like always, I keep coming back for more.

Image: Three Cats, 1913, by Franz Marc

Am I Bitter?

You may NOT want to watch this video. When I saw the Babies trailer a few weeks ago, while captive at the movies, I almost gagged. I can’t think of a film I’d rather not sit through, and that includes Hot Tub Time Machine. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy cuddling with adorable toddlers as much as the next woman, but it’s not how I’d choose to spend my entertainment dollars or time. (Sorry Moms!) And since I’m in a confessional mood, I don’t like cute pet videos, either. Am I missing a goo goo ga ga gene?

Why Me?

It sounds like a setup for a Woody Allen joke. What happens when a Rabbi and a Jungian get together to talk about faith? (Pause for laughter.) But seriously folks, the unlikely pairing of Rabbi David Wolpe and Psychoanalyst Lionel Corbett were brought together by the Hammer Museum for a dialogue about Jung’s illustrated manuscript, The Red Book. My favorite moment was when Wolpe talked about the WHY ME question (with which I’m all too familiar, especially when it comes to not finding a mate). Wolpe is puzzled that people ask why me, only when times are hard. And he should know about hard. He has survived non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma and a brain tumor. So what about when life is abundant? “I live in the richest country in the world, and never have to go to bed hungry,” Wolpe wonders. Isn’t that when we should also ask, why me?

Image from The Red Book by C.G. Jung.

Do You Get Lost In Parking Lots?

I have a lousy sense of direction. It doesn’t take much for me to get spacially disoriented, and though I joke about having trouble navigating my way out of a closet, it’s no laughing matter. With large parking structures, I’m practically phobic. Even when I carefully note the floor and zone, and try to remember visual cues, one wrong turn out of the elevator, and I’m lost. At the San Francisco Airport, after a tearful sendoff to a German guy I’d been sleeping with, I headed to the garage, only to realize I had NO IDEA where I was parked. Grief stricken (in that special bi-continental love affair kind of way) I wandered from floor to floor. After 45 anxious minutes, I begged a security attendant for help. But now, there’s Auto Finder, a device that will wirelessly track your car within a ½ mile range. Long distance romance, bring it on! On second thought….

How to Be a Birthday Princess

I’ve noticed that the world is divided into two camps – those who could care less about their birthdays and the other half, which would be people like me. Being single makes planning ahead really important, because you have to ask yourself, can you deal with spending your birthday alone? (New Years Eve? Maybe. Birthday? Never!) Take responsibility to get the ball rolling, whether it’s a huge party or an intimate dinner for two, which means first and foremost, reminding friends to keep the evening free. If you’re lucky, your loved ones will take the planning from there. If not, don’t be proud to do it yourself. This year, I wanted something small, so I chose Jar, an elegant restaurant, and invited a couple of close friends to join me. And then, I reveled in being a princess, and enjoyed my birthday, as a “worry-free” zone.

What are you planning for your birthday?

Glass slippers by Martin Margiela

Celebrating a Birthday

I’m off to my neighborhood day spa for a birthday soak and steam.

Image: Cake, 2008, by the wonderful painter, Clare Grill. Check out her show at Sloan Fine Art.

Happy Earth Day from the Hollywood Fwy!

The first Earth Day, which took place in 1970, is considered the beginning of the modern environmental movement. It was the brainchild of Gaylord Nelson, Senator of Wisconsin, who wanted Washington to become more responsive to environmental issues. There were 20 million participants on April 22, 1970, and it ultimately led to the creation of the EPA (Environmental Protection Agency.) It’s proof that grassroots organizing can really change the world earth.

Photo by Constantine Manos, 2004, Magnum Photos

Why It Sometimes Feels Good to Pass

On Sunday afternoons, my dear friend William and I often take Rose to the neighborhood park. The place is swarming with dogs, and Rose loves running with the wind in her hair, leash free. While she’s playing, we stand around swapping pet chat with the other owners, “What breed is yours?” (Not sure. She was adopted.) “Do you know a good groomer?” At first glance, strangers can assume Will and I are married and I used to make sure to correct them. But eventually I figured out that it’s easier just to go with it. And besides, even if for a moment, it feels good to fit in.

Image: European Couple Walking the Dog by Thomas Oda Odulate, at the Detroit Institute of Arts