First Person Singular by Wendy Braitman

Love the One You’re With

Earlier today, a long-distance, former flame with whom I haven’t talked for months, emailed to see if I wanted to rendezvous at an airport hotel 200 miles away, for dinner and I assume, sex. It has been awhile since a man asked me out for a meal, no less an overnight, so I considered his offer. Plus, it’s a Friday with no plans, and this sort of adventure appeals to me. Should I grab my toothbrush, get in the car and go for it? If I was mad for him, or even in lust, I might’ve already been on my way. Instead, I’m going to make spaghetti, watch Anatomy of a Murder on TMC and cuddle with the dog who loves me. Happy weekend!

Image: Wants/Needs by Scott Albrecht. An exhibition of his work opens today in San Francisco.

The Search for Dating Truth in Advertising

Declaring “I’m a man of integrity” has become the latest dating profile swagger. Three times during the last six months, men of “integrity” have written, eager to meet, only to disappear before the first date. The most recent one, Michael (yes, his real name), couldn’t be bothered with email banter: “Let’s talk over tea,” he insisted. (I suggested martinis, but he doesn’t drink.) We spoke on the phone for almost an hour, and he promised to call in a few days, after his business trip, to arrange a date. That was three weeks ago. So I email bantered the following:       Continue reading »

What YOU Put Up With About Online Dating

On Monday, I griped about dating sites. But not as vividly as you. Here are 11 great posts from readers:

Illustration by Christoph Niemann. Check out his awesome visual diary in the Times.

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Cyber Walk of Shame

Yesterday morning, I frolicked in the land of the Single, writing 7 Things We Endure about Dating Sites. In the spirit of self-promotion, I decided to link to the post on Facebook, but as I was about to click SHARE, I was seized by a paralyzing moment of doubt. What if those beyond my trusted circle of friends read it, shake their heads, and cluck to themselves (or worse to each other):  Is she STILL trying to find a boyfriend? My head drooped, as I padded into the kitchen for a snack. It took two return trips to the computer before I got my confidence back. I’ll show them. With your input, the dating site endurances have grown. Keep ‘em coming.

Image: Stairway to the Sea, 1982, by Will Barnet

7 Things We Endure About Dating Sites

1. I’m no conspiracy theorist, but three men who eagerly initiated contact, then pledged to call me but never did, all used the phrase, “I’m a man of integrity,” in their profiles.
2. Can’t we agree to stop lying about our age?
3. Pssst. Men whose only photos are wearing baseball caps, you’re not fooling anyone.                           Continue reading »

Do You Care If Your Date Has Good Taste?

No, this is not about whether it’s important that your date tastes good. We can all agree on that. I want to know if it’s essential that the person you’re dating (living with/married to) shares your preference in movies, books, art, fashion, sofas, politics, food? Today, I stumbled on a new dating site, Tastebuds, that hooks people up with other singles who like the same kinds of music. I understand the impulse. But is this enough of an indicator that we’ll get along?

Image: Nick Dewar

Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone

Have you ever dated vicariously? Yesterday, I spoke to a woman who has fallen in like and I wanted to know everything. In particular, what’s different this time? For starters, she decided to forget Match.com, and instead, go out to new social settings, without the comfort of close friends. Within the first week, she’d met a great guy. It’s good to be reminded of what works for people, and now, I’m game. On Sunday morning, rather than Whole Foods, I’m heading to the Hollywood Farmer’s Market to buy produce and talk to a stranger. In case you’re so inclined, here’s a list of the top Farmer’s Markets in the country.

CONTEST deadline, August 9th. Don’t miss out!

Image: Spring vegetables at the outdoor market, Campo dei Fiori, in Rome.

Would You Date a Vegan?

Let me start by apologizing to vegans out there. I don’t mean to disparage your eating habits (even though, honestly, I don’t get it). I could’ve as easily titled this, Would you Date a Sausage Eater? but then you might think I was talking about sex. My real question here, and I ask this in earnest -
Is it important that our romantic partners like to chow down on the same things we do? Earlier this week, a man emailed from Match.com, and after chatting for a few minutes on the phone, I learned that he doesn’t drink alcohol (sticking mostly to herbal teas) and refrains from sugar and white flour, among other things. “My body is a temple,” he said. When I heard this, my heart sank, and I pictured a life drinking alone, sneaking off to munch on my home-baked brownies. How much do our food choices define us? Are we what we eat?

Don’t forget our new CONTEST. Deadline, August 9th.

Photo: Carsten ten Brink

How to Find a Date 3.0

Even when catastrophe strikes, the dating instinct continues. It took only hours after my mother’s funeral to ask for her cosmic help in finding me a mate. And a few days after 9-11, while stranded at the Toronto Film Festival, I uttered one of the best pick-up lines, EVER.

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When Not to Buy Generic

My dog, Rose just waltzed in to find her usual napping spot under the desk. Rose is generic, some kind of poodle-bichon mutt, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. But sometimes, brand makes a difference. Like this one time, a few reckless years ago, with a guy I met online.

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