First Person Singular by Wendy Braitman

Getting Beyond the Bias: A Dove in Afghanistan

With restraint, I’ve kept my political views to a minimum here, except when the outrage is so fierce I can’t control the spill. As the debate on sending more American troops into Afghanistan has intensified, I’ve envied the certainty that many of my friends have about the subject. I can’t seem to put my hands on enough information to know what’s right.

It was a relief today to discover Confessions of a Dove in Afghanistan, a vivid account by the writer Sara Davidson of her recent visit to Kabul with a group of women put together by the “peace” organization, Code Pink. Here’s a sampling:

After eight days, our presumptions were turned upside down, splitting us into camps with conflicting opinions. Some still wanted an exit strategy, but one woman who’s spent 40 years in non-violent peace work reversed her lifelong stand, believing the military should stay and more troops might be helpful. “It shocks me to admit this,” she said.

(Image: Dove, 1949, by Pablo Picasso)

Where Do We Fit In?

The media was abuzz last week with The Shriver Report (as in Maria Shriver), about the social transformation happening in the U.S., now that women account for 50 percent of our workforce. Sounds promising, right? As I read through the Executive Summary (which was about as much as I could commit to), I got more and more aggravated. The Report focuses primarily on married women with children, and I found myself asking a familiar question, “Where do I fit it?

That’s why I depend on Bella DePaulo. Please read her comprehensive, and as always, thoughtful analysis of what’s wrong (and right) with the Shriver Report.

(Image: Maye Webb, the New York Times)

A Badge of Courage?

Ever since I started my site, I’ve received comments from virtual strangers and loved ones about my bravery. After a recent piece, How I Grabbed the Best Bedroom, appeared in The Huffington Post, a friend wrote to me in an email, “ Wow, girl. You have balls.”

I find this curious. Does it take bravery to admit out loud in public that you’re single?

Do Blondes in Gaza Have More Fun?

Recently, I signed up for Google Alerts, to be nudged whenever a news story appears about single women, and today I learned that Hamas, in addition to its militant activities, has started a matchmaking service in Gaza. According to the Associated Press, women pay a service fee of $10-$70 to the Tayseer Association for Marriage and Development in Gaza and are divided into categories, depending on their eligibility. Let me just say, if you’re over 30 and a divorcee, good luck! On the application, women detail their ideal mate, with the majority looking for a man “with a job and his own apartment.” (I’m sure those are on one of my lists.) They also need to answer the question, “Do you consider yourself pretty according to Gaza standards,” with most men requesting (and why am I not surprised) tall and fair-skinned women with blue or green eyes and light-colored hair.

The Fabulous Elizabeth Palmer Peabody

These last few days, I’ve had my head stuck in a book, “The Peabody Sisters,” by Megan Marshall, a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize in nonfiction. It profiles Elizabeth, Mary and Sophia Peabody, three extraordinary women born into a prominent, yet impoverished New England family in the 19th century.

I’m fascinated by the eldest sister, Elizabeth, who was the intellectual dynamo of the clan and the most ambitious. She had a remarkable impact on the cultural landscape, carving out a luminous career as a writer, publisher, translator and educator, and established the first American kindergarten. Elizabeth was an impresario of sorts, and owned a bookstore, which served as a nightly “salon,” and hub for the great reformers and literary figures of the day. 

None of the Peabody sisters viewed marriage as their primary goal, although Sophia and Mary ended up with famous husbands (Sophia wed Nathanial Hawthorne, and Mary married Horace Mann, considered the father of public education). Elizabeth had her share of suitors and romantic longings (Nathaniel and Horace among them, and that’s a story for another day), but she vowed to “be myself and act”  and stayed single during her long and productive life.

On Mother’s Day: Why You Can Never Do Enough

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Women Who Knew How to Rough It

These cowgirls–Ben Kirnan, Prairie Rose, Mable Strickland, Princis Mohawk, Ruth Roach, Kittie Canutt and Prairie Little–were well-known participants in rodeo events in Oregon. (I’ll take those boots third from the right.) Photographed in 1921 by Ralph Russell Doubleday.

Marriage, Eudora Welty said, “Never Came Up.”

(“Sunday Morning,” photograph by Eudora Welty)

Before her literary career took off, Eudora Welty, one of the great writers of the 20th century, used to snap photos. She had a job as a junior publicity agent for  the W.P.A. (Works Progress Administration, started by Franklin Roosevelt in 1935, to jump start the economy) and traveled through rural Mississippi, taking pictures of people coping with the Depression. Continue reading »

Happy Birthday Gloria Steinem

Ms. Gloria Steinem, who founded Ms. Magazine in 1972, was one of the most visible faces of feminism in the 20th century. She turns 75 today, March 25. My favorite of her many quotable remarks: “Some of us are becoming the men we want to marry.”

Single Women and Cats

QUESTION: IS IT TRUE THAT UNMARRIED WOMEN OWN A DISPROPORTIONATE NUMBER OF CATS?

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