First Person Singular by Wendy Braitman

What YOU Put Up With About Online Dating

On Monday, I griped about dating sites. But not as vividly as you. Here are 11 great posts from readers:

Illustration by Christoph Niemann. Check out his awesome visual diary in the Times.

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Are High Heels Worth It?

A handsome friend of mine, who is straight and single, asked me why women wear high heels. He doesn’t find them attractive, and anyway, shoes are the last thing he looks at when he’s checking someone out. That’s a relief, but also a disappointment, when recounting the hours of pain I’ve subjected my feet to, in the service of dating and mating. Here in L.A., women alternate between flip-flops and stilettos, with me falling somewhere in between. But I was happy to hear from a high-end shoe rep that flats are trending big for fall and spring. Today, on the 90th anniversary of getting the right to vote, we can choose fashionable, yet rational, shoes. It’s a fitting tribute.

Image: Derek Gores

Cyber Walk of Shame

Yesterday morning, I frolicked in the land of the Single, writing 7 Things We Endure about Dating Sites. In the spirit of self-promotion, I decided to link to the post on Facebook, but as I was about to click SHARE, I was seized by a paralyzing moment of doubt. What if those beyond my trusted circle of friends read it, shake their heads, and cluck to themselves (or worse to each other):  Is she STILL trying to find a boyfriend? My head drooped, as I padded into the kitchen for a snack. It took two return trips to the computer before I got my confidence back. I’ll show them. With your input, the dating site endurances have grown. Keep ‘em coming.

Image: Stairway to the Sea, 1982, by Will Barnet

7 Things We Endure About Dating Sites

1. I’m no conspiracy theorist, but three men who eagerly initiated contact, then pledged to call me but never did, all used the phrase, “I’m a man of integrity,” in their profiles.
2. Can’t we agree to stop lying about our age?
3. Pssst. Men whose only photos are wearing baseball caps, you’re not fooling anyone.                           Continue reading »

Folks, We Have a Winner(s)

Aimee Bender graciously agreed to be celebrity judge for our recent contest, a fitting job, given that her wonderful novel, The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake, inspired us. We asked the following question: What is your natural gift? What comes most easily to you?
All the submissions were fascinating, but with just two books to give away, here are Aimee’s picks -

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Eat Pray Love for this Ad Campaign to Be Over

The empty slogans for Eat, Pray, Love have been making me queasy:  ”You Don’t Need a Man. You Need a Champion.” Thanks, but no thanks. Here’s a review from one of my go-to critics -

Is Luck Blind or Is It Personal?

I don’t feel lucky, which probably means I need an attitude adjustment. There are so many hideous things that have never happened to me, and so many wonderful things that have. But once last month, and just yesterday, I got real lucky. The first was not being called into court for jury duty (while several friends were impaneled). The other was thanks to my neighbor who convinced a parking cop not to give me a $50 ticket. It was like winning the lottery, twice. I must’ve amassed some good civic karma, as they were both municipal events. Not so, in matters of the heart. And the question I can’t put to bed – is it something I did?

CONTEST winner will be announced on Friday!

Image via Partners & Spade

The Single Life

In a Single Shoe/Live Girls, 2009, by Jessica Sofia Mitrani

Do You Care If Your Date Has Good Taste?

No, this is not about whether it’s important that your date tastes good. We can all agree on that. I want to know if it’s essential that the person you’re dating (living with/married to) shares your preference in movies, books, art, fashion, sofas, politics, food? Today, I stumbled on a new dating site, Tastebuds, that hooks people up with other singles who like the same kinds of music. I understand the impulse. But is this enough of an indicator that we’ll get along?

Image: Nick Dewar

The Joy of Produce

I was cozy at home with the Times this morning, but I booted myself out at 9 AM to drive to the Hollywood Farmer’s Market, because I’d committed to it here last week, and it’s good to keep your promises. I talked to a few strangers (also, as promised), but they were vendors, and I’m hoping that counts. I also made small talk with two separate neighbors who live right up the street (and I know that doesn’t count). The fruits and vegetables were beautiful, and worth the trip.

Deadline for contest submissions is Monday.