(I’m trying to get to 100. PLEASE CHIME IN!)
He’s too young
He’s too old
He’s too bulky
He doesn’t have enough hair
He has a ponytail
He doesn’t care about music
He doesn’t have finesse
His car doesn’t have air conditioning
His apartment is filthy
He doesn’t make enough money
He’s too close with his mother
He’s too close with his ex-wife
He’s not in touch with his family
He doesn’t like to talk
He doesn’t read books
He’s too sedentary
He doesn’t know how to relax
He doesn’t like going to the movies
He isn’t smart enough
He never buys me gifts
He doesn’t have a sense of humor
He’s not cultured
He doesn’t like the city
He hates hot weather
His shoes are a disaster
His clothes are from the eighties (and I don’t mean that in a good way)
He has a moustache
He’s obsessed with sports
He flirts with other women
He doesn’t look at me when we’re talking
He makes love too fast
He snores
He’s not well groomed
He won’t look up from his blackberry
He doesn’t believe in technology
He doesn’t tell me I look good
He’s always late
He drives too fast
He drives too slowly
He hates to fly on an airplane
He has a dog that sheds all over my clothes
He’s too hairy
He has a handgun
He leaves his towel on the floor of my bathroom
He only talks about himself
He has no friends
He’s moody
He forgets my birthday
He doesn’t own a house
He’s cheap
He doesn’t admit when he’s wrong
He doesn’t appreciate good food
He watches too much TV
He’s not big on foreplay
He doesn’t hold my hand
He doesn’t pay his bills on time
He drives through red lights
He’s not social
He’s not nice to my mother
He doesn’t call me enough
He doesn’t say, “I love you”
He doesn’t like going out to eat
He mostly wears sweats
He’s possessive
He doesn’t change the kitty litter often enough (but it’s sweet that he has a cat)
He doesn’t own wine glasses
He doesn’t drink alcohol
He drinks too much
He’s not gracious
He’s a Republican
He’s a conspiracy theorist
He’s not informed
He doesn’t know how to kiss
He uses the word, “fuck” too much
He’s not reliable
He smokes too much pot
He’s too short
He has no sense of irony
He’s a snob
He doesn’t celebrate the holidays
He’s not nice to his children
He has heart disease
He smokes
He doesn’t own a TV
His house is always cold
He doesn’t know his way around
He doesn’t understand the importance of ritual
He’s surly with waiters
He doesn’t initiate enough
He’s kosher
He doesn’t believe in parity
He’s scared a lot of the time
He’s not interested in fresh air
He’s always complaining