1) Remember you’re beautiful.
Don’t equate lack of sexual activity with lack of desirability.
2) Enhance your wardrobe.
Put on clothes that make you feel like you’ve just had sex. Wear a flouncy skirt. Undo your top button. Moisturize. We know the benefits of lacy lingerie (which I find hard to summon up, during a dry spell). So, in my medicine cabinet, I keep a styling product called bedroom hair [1].
3) Stretch the Definition.
Include foreplay and passionate kissing, if it gets you off the schnide [2]. No one’s counting.
4) Stay physical.
Keep in touch with your body. I take ballet class, which works my muscles, builds flexibility and gives me the chance, like sex, to be expressive without words. Need I add, use your vibrator?!
5) Change your focus.
Take in small victories. At 6:15 AM, I take Rose for her morning walk, and she’s tugging on the leash, her enthusiasm infectious. This time of year I see purple petals from a Jacaranda tree strewn on my neighbor’s moss-green lawn. It quiets my restless mind for a full minute. I feel grateful to be alive, even without sex.
6) Don’t tell.
Bear in mind that people won’t know you haven’t had sex for awhile, just by looking at you (except on those days when you don’t wash your face, and stay in those baggy sweats).