In the seventh grade, I learned a game, “Love, Marriage, Friendship, Hate,” which could predict whether a boy I had an insatiable crush on, would end up as my husband. I believed in it. Here’s how it worked. On a sheet of paper, I’d write down my first and last name in block letters (middle names were used only if I wasn’t happy with the outcome.) Underneath this, I’d write down the first and last name of that dreamy classmate I couldn’t get out of my head. Feel free to try it now, and test it out for yourself. For example:
WENDY BRAITMAN
JOHNNY DEPP
Cross out each letter you and your potential beloved share in common (in my case, I would begin by crossing out the “E” in WENDY and DEPP). Here’s what is left:
WBRAITMA
JOHPP
For each letter that remains, recite in order, one of these words: “Love. Marriage. Friendship. Hate.” (w – love, b – marriage, r – friendship, a – hate, i – love) and so on, until you’ve cycled through both names. At the last letter of the last name, whichever noun you end up with, is how the relationship will fare. So in this example, Johnny Depp and I are destined for “love.” (See what I mean. It really works!)
But here’s the embarrassing part. As recently as a few months ago, I resurrected this silly game, because of a man I liked. Outcome: marriage. And to my surprise and disappointment, for the first time, it was wrong.