If you are afraid of loneliness, don’t marry
– from The Cherry Orchard by Anton Chekhov
Hair length is not up for discussion
Your chores are your own
Decision when to leave parties is completely up to you
You get to choose between the window and the aisle
No in-laws to ingratiate yourself with
Far less laundry
Temperature in the house (and car) is exactly as you like it
Flirt away!
No one to tell you not to wear that sheer blouse
Music selection (and volume) is your call
Your good mood isn’t at risk because of someone’s bad day at the office
More time for hobbies
No reason to account for those expensive shoes you just bought
Closet space for those shoes
Deciding what movie to see, what time to see it, and where to sit
Knowing those cookies you’re looking forward to, will still be there when you want them
Hope of new sex
Sidestepping the expectation and ensuing disappointment when you’re not listened to
Not compromising on your career path, even if that means being a workaholic
A quiet night’s sleep
Toilet seat is exactly where you left it. Down. And on that note, bathroom is cleaner.
No need to temper that obsessive love for your pet(s)
During the dark night of the soul, not having to wonder if you’ve settled
Having loads of gay friends
Vacations never need to include camping
Recounting your sagas the way you want to, without fear of being corrected
No bickering. Really. We don’t “bicker” with friends
Along those lines, no reason to nag
When that towel is on the floor, there is only you to blame
If you want to be on time, be on time. If you want to be late, be late.
Not worrying that it somehow reflects badly on you when your spouse gains weight
(For those still getting newspapers) getting first crack at the sections you want
Not fretting over whether you’ll get a gift for important life cycle events
No one holding a mirror up to your most annoying traits
Most comfortable chair in your home is always available
More room on the bookshelves
Sleeping on a diagonal
Expensive body wash lasts at least twice as long
Way fewer crumbs
There’s no one to answer, “Do I look fat in these pants?”
(This post was also published in Double X [1], a new site for women launched by Slate)