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Is It Harder to Be Flexible When You’re Single?
As a former dancer, I stretch every day. I’m convinced that being limber is the secret to long life, or at least a life staying upright. But being flexible with others is another story. When it comes to making group decisions (where to eat, what movie to see, how high to keep the heat, which political party should be in power), I don’t like to compromise. This could be an outcome of singleness, or simply a question of temperament. In any case, it’s a good muscle to exercise. Maybe tomorrow.
Image: Dancers, 2010, by James Jean
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It’s harder for me now (a lifelong single.) To take politics as an example. I keep abreast of the news. During my personal time, I have zero-desire to have someone explain the right-wing viewpoint to me. Same for religion & movies.
It hard for me to hear someone explain the current right wing point of view. I don’t view that as being inflexible. Just reasonable.
There are some things I don’t mind compromising on, or am quite happy to let the guy lead in most of the time and just follow along behind. Others, like the temperature of the house, are more fixed in stone that I want my way, period. Then again, with the heat, I’ve got health reasons as well as comfort for needing the temperatures I prefer. If I’m too cold, I pay for it for a long, long time.
I don’t think of it as being inflexible, I think of it as knowing my mind. I’m perfectly capable of compromising on movies, places to eat, etc., but I am usually the first to make a decision, because I know–and am used to pleasing–my own tastes first and am not shy about speaking up. Others who are much more used to the daily compromise born from sharing space and time start off, almost automatically, asking “What do you think?”