[1]
During the decades when I felt sadness about being single, I always had a career to lean on. My work in the film industry gave me purpose, structure, travel, camaraderie, an excuse to stay late in the office and a position of respect. When I lost my job and couldn’t find another, it was the most existential crisis of my life. Without a spouse or work, who was I?
This happened when I was fifty. Looking back, if I could pick a moment to be plunged into self doubt, it was better at that ripe age when I’d accumulated a measure of wisdom and coping skills.
One of the ways out of the gloom was a technique I’d honed being single amidst mostly married friends, and trying not to feel like a misfit. And that was reminding myself (again and again) of an inner truth even if it wasn’t being reflected from the outside world:
You have inherent value.
You have inherent value.
It became a mantra, which I silently murmured before job interviews, after job rejections, on consoling walks with my dog, and hesitant walks into social events where I knew people would ask, “and what do you do?”
And so I survived, and went on to create a wonderful, new vocation as a Career Coach [2], where I get to guide others in their moments of professional crisis.
I want to hear about your experience with work. What role does it play in your single life?
Illustration by Marc Johns [1]