filed in Myths and stereotypes, Who Are We?
Single Women and Cats
QUESTION: IS IT TRUE THAT UNMARRIED WOMEN OWN A DISPROPORTIONATE NUMBER OF CATS?
“The news that 51 percent of all women live without a spouse might be enough to make you invest in cat futures.” —New York Times, January 22, 2007
“The poor good old woman was a spinster. Sultan, her cat… had filled her heart and sufficed for the quantity of passion which existed in her. None of her dreams had ever proceeded as far as man. She had never been able to get further than her cat. Like him, she had a mustache.”
–Victor Hugo – Les Miserables, 1862
“Just wanted to pose a question to everyone out there. I have been told that if a single lady has a cat then she is 50% less likely to find a long-term relationship than if she didn’t have a cat. And if she owns more than one cat she might as well forget meeting that special someone in her life. I don’t have any pets and I still don’t know how or where to go to meet that special someone. Any thoughts?”
–Posting, Eons (website for people over 50)
from “Single Diaries“
Even if it hardens the stereotype of a spouseless woman, I’ve decided to come clean. I sleep with my cat.
My relationship with Lily ambled along the first few years, as with many of the men I dated. I had to work hard for us to be intimate, which entailed scouring underneath the cars in the neighborhood, crawling on my belly risking filth to tempt her with treats, dragging her by the collar, and finally into bed. At first, the intimacy was erratic. To be honest, I gave more than I got. But it paid off. Now, Lily sprints to greet me as I drive up to the house. She purrs whenever I enter the room. I think she’s a happier cat for my effort, and others who know cats agree. Friends think I’m happier, too.
But I’m not confused into thinking that Lily’s my beloved. She’s just a cat.
ANSWER: CAT OWNERSHIP IS TWICE AS LIKELY AMONG HOUSEHOLDS OF PARENTS WITH CHILDREN. (U.S. Pet Ownership and Demographic Sourcebook)
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What about those of us who are serious cat people (I’ve fostered four special needs cats, socialized and spayed three feral cats, and browse through http://www.ratemykitten.com whenever I need a stress release) but we have no cats (sniff), because our lives are too full of other obligations? Maybe nuclear families have more cats because there’s a greater chance someone will be home to feed, water, and love them. So much for the stereotype of the single woman curled up in a dark house with her cat. (Though there’s a lot to be said for hanging out on the couch with the cat and ignoring the phone sometimes.)
–Christina at Onely
In other words, we’re too busy having a fabulous social life. I like that!
If you look on a site like OKCupid, where single women put up dating profile, you’ll notice that most of them own cats.
My girlfriend has three cats, and I think cats are a deterrent to attracting and keeping a man. If instead of welcoming your guy when he comes over, you give a perfunctory hug and then go back to petting the cats, that guy is not going to feel very appreciated.
If you sleep with cats in the bed and they start waking you up at 5am, your bed partner might not be too happy about that. If cats crawl into bed when you have sex… awkward. If they poop and it stinks, total mood breaker.
Why do you need a cat anyway? Why not love a man who will actually, really, love you back, and truly take care of you? Do you want us to wear fur or what?