filed in Daily Life
10 Things I Can Do Myself
- Cook a sumptuous meal, which I often do, even when it’s just for me
- Survive my mother’s death
- New Year’s Eve, 2007
- Run a business
- Select the perfect paint color for my walls
- Fight and WIN a fierce and long-winded battle against Blue Cross
- Move to Los Angeles after years in San Francisco and build new friendships and community, though it took awhile
- Buy a bathing suit
- Be small minded and judgmental (I need to work on this one)
- Figure out Garageband
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7 comments for “10 Things I Can Do Myself”
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FIRST PERSON SINGULAR is a guide to surviving, thriving and sometimes just getting through a single day. Created by Wendy Braitman (more…)
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you inspire me! And thank you for sharing. I can especially relate to #s 1, 4, 5 and 7.
The thing that really gets to me is knowing that one day I will have to do #2 and the chances of me being all alone for it are pretty big. I have no siblings. When both my parents are gone, I will have no immediate family. That scares the poo right out of me.
Oh yeah. I can also related to #9. Like crazy!
For years, I feared being single when my mother died. I couldn’t imagine facing that alone. And when I got the call, even my best friend (who always promised he would be with me) was out of phone reach.
We do what we have to. We’re stronger than we think…
Thank you for sharing this list, Wendy!
As I am still struggling with my version of #7 (moving from Chicago area to SF), I’d love to hear any suggestions you have about how to go about community building. Anything to avoid or definitely do?
Rachel,
San Francisco is a great place to move! Community is practically built into the DNA. It’s an intimate city, folks are nice to each other, and since parking is so difficult, there are lots of kind people on the streets, walking and taking public transportation. It’s got a bustling cafe life.
The geography of L.A., so sprawling without an urban center, made it especially difficult to connect. Everyone is alone, in her or his car. I had to force myself into new situations, even when it made me uncomfortable. I volunteered, joined a synagogue for the first time, took night classes, and was generally more open to strangers (like talking to people at the car wash.) Slowly I built a new social life. And now, I love L.A., and I can’t imagine leaving.
The little black shadow always in the corner of my wonderful life is knowing my beloved mom can’t last forever. I have my grief counselor/coach all picked out.
Are you saying you can do this, or you have done this? Either way, I guess, “brava.”
Still haven’t figured out how to subscribe, Wendy, but I just click on my bookmark every day.Si
I HAVE done this. My mom died in 1993. And it was a deeply moving, transformative life passage, which still resonates. There’s not a day that goes by without my thinking about her and all the nuances (good and bad) of our relationship.
I fear number 2 as well! For kind of the reasons Singlutionary gives.
Separately, I commend your fight against Blue Cross. I think most, if not all, health insurance companies are incorporated by Satan.
Christina