filed in Sex and Dating
Is There Technique to Finding a Soul Mate?
Within the last week, by coincidence, or a hint of destiny, two different “relationship” books have found their way to my desk; Internet Dating is Not Like Ordering Pizza, and the more alluring of the two titles, How to Make Someone Fall in Love with You in 90 Minutes.
My desk isn’t that big, so confronted with these bold messages day after day, I submitted, and opened them. I’ve had two romances this year, though neither bloomed, and I’ve been dreading the idea of re-registering with match.com, which makes me the perfect, vulnerable candidate for guidance. And who doesn’t have 90 minutes to spare? Scanning these how-to books got me wondering about the usefulness of the genre. Could they possibly work? Is finding a soul mate as simple as following some friendly advice?
What about you? Have you learned something handy from how-to books, dating or otherwise?
Photo by Ferdinando Scianna, New York City, 1986.
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Like any genre, it definitely depends on the author. Some self-help books I’ve read have changed my life, others have offered interesting suggestions which I probably forgot a year later, and still others made me want to flush them down the toilet.
I reviewed Internet Dating Is Not Like Ordering a Pizza a few days ago. With a few key exceptions, the book’s strategy mirrored my own, so I got to pat myself on the back, haha. 🙂 I would recommend it for anyone who hasn’t gotten the results they want from online dating.
Not so sure I’d want to make someone fall in love with me in 90 minutes! Sounds like a lot of pressure…
It sounds cliche, but I think He’s Just Not That Into You might have changed my life. (The book, mind you, not the movie, which I did not enjoy.) It makes perfect sense to me, because I truly feel that we will ALWAYS find a way to invest our time and energy into whatever is important to us, and relationships are no exception. Therefore, if the guy isn’t calling you? Isn’t asking you out? Isn’t interested in getting physical? Isn’t getting a divorce from his wife? You’re NOT his priority, pure and simple.
Too often, we women keep hanging on, making excuses and exhausting our energies even when red flags are blatantly flying in our faces…yikes! Why not just accept his disinterest, move on gracefully, and keep looking?