filed in Sex and Dating
Recycling Old Boyfriends
Have you ever fantasized about boyfriends whom you’ve gotten rid of (or worse, have gotten rid of you) and wondered, are they worth another try?
I have. I looked one up, just the other week. We met for coffee. And the answer is, NO.
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4 comments for “Recycling Old Boyfriends”
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oh, HOW could you be so cruel as to not include the details of this coffee meeting? = )
I think the key word is “recycling”. Things come out of the recycling process very different from when they went in. A plastic bottle becomes a tshirt. A man becomes a whole different man.
I have had ex boyfriends try to recycle me, but I did not let anything come of it because I knew there was no regaining what we had. One, because circumstances had changed, and two, because what we had was not as good as they seemed to remember it being.
Christina
Yes, of course. And I’ve done it, too–gone back to an ex, I mean. More than once. I’m still single, so…
I won’t say it can’t ever work for anyone. Sometimes people are just in different places in their lives when they break up or need to do some more maturing. But a lot of the time, the same problems that tripped you up before will be lying in wait to trip you up again.
Honey, I just went to the courthouse and married my high school boyfriend and first love. Had not seen each other for 39 years. But I know his early struggles to grow up and have more tolerance for differences in us because of this unique sense of empathy. So I have more security and trust, and therefore love. Plus I always loved his walk and he still has it going on.
hey,there no rules people. Sometimes old loves do change –and it probably has just as much to do with how we’ve changed as how they’ve changed –and like this women here to married her old high school boyfriend 39 years later — maybe it takes that long for people who really care about each other **to be ready for one another** I have had lots of “near misses” in my life –but have found they think about me a lot more it seems than I think about them. Just had someone haven’t heard from in 8 years contact me. Irony is:I am getting married to my dream guy in another 4 months– at 48 years old (my first marriage by the way!)
The guys coming back after you break up thing — well it’s more a a man thing than a women thing. Not just because they want an easy lay — but because they have not done the real work needed to process how they felt about you to start with.
See — We as women tend to process the break-ups a lot faster and more deeply than the guys do.. Guys just hold on — and hey hold onto those feelings of love and caring and feeling good alot longer than we give them credit for. Or — maybe it really does take them that long to realize what they had and lost. Who knows? But they tend to sentimentalize past love a lot more than we do — we remember him as that creep — they remember us for “wow, did she smell good” or “I so miss how I used to feel when I was with her”.
So — if you are not attached– and if he wasn’t so horrible or abusive that it really is not a good idea to see him again — then why would you not have someone who used to be a lover? My god — at the very least — it might be someone you can now call a friend.
Just a thought from a really-late-to-get-it romantic from the mid-west…