filed in Sex and Dating
Do You Hate the Blind Date?
My friend, William, is fearless when it comes to blind dating. I’m in awe of his technique. He casts a wide net, checking out almost everyone who shows interest, with his usual optimism, “You meet for an hour. How bad could it be?” (He’s also successful at it, and by successful I mean, he has been in a loving relationship for over two years now, with someone he met that way.)
I wish I could be so blasé. Before a blind date, I feel like I’m on my way to the gallows, about to throw up. The odd part is, I’m a natural schmoozer, ordinarily very comfortable swapping small talk with people I’ve just met.
But there’s something particular about the blind date, with its built-in expectations of “maybe he’s the one,” along with preemptive frustration about being disappointed AGAIN (or worse, disappointing) that makes me want to sidestep the whole business entirely, and stay home cuddling with Rose.
What about you? Do you have blind-date phobia?
(Illustration by Nicole Maloof)
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OK. I have phobia of dating in general. I too am good at meeting new people, asking them questions, getting to know them. My success at my jobs has always depended on this (I was a fundraiser, then a realtor and now an apartment leaser).
Anyways, the blind date freaks me out. I don’t want to be my natural friendly exhuberant self because he might think I am coming on too strong or he might be a creep and then I gave him the wrong impression and then I have a stalker who’s feelings I have to hurt.
Anyways, I just feel constrained and I can never be myself.
Its funny because I am naturally so friendly and so good at making people my bffs that I’ve often been mistaken as flirting with men that I was in no way flirting with. I was telling an old friend from school about a life coach he should invest in once at a bar and this woman was so astonised by how forward she though I was with him. So was his girlfriend. Oops. Ever since then I have never felt like I could just be myself with men unless I had decided what role I was to play in their life and then live within those boundaries.
I definitely get butterflies and sweaty palms before blind dates. I get so nervous about making a good first impression, which is funny because 90% of the time, I end up not feeling all that attracted to the guy. Yet something in me, that same thing that strives for perfection in my work, wants the other person to like me, and that makes me so anxious that I actually shiver and feel queasy as I’m getting ready and heading out. In my rational mind, I know it’s silly, but I can’t stop the physical reaction.