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40 Reasons To Be Single
If you are afraid of loneliness, don’t marry
– from The Cherry Orchard by Anton Chekhov
Hair length is not up for discussion
Your chores are your own
Decision when to leave parties is completely up to you
You get to choose between the window and the aisle
No in-laws to ingratiate yourself with
Far less laundry
Temperature in the house (and car) is exactly as you like it
Flirt away!
No one to tell you not to wear that sheer blouse
Music selection (and volume) is your call
Your good mood isn’t at risk because of someone’s bad day at the office
More time for hobbies
No reason to account for those expensive shoes you just bought
Closet space for those shoes
Deciding what movie to see, what time to see it, and where to sit
Knowing those cookies you’re looking forward to, will still be there when you want them
Hope of new sex
Sidestepping the expectation and ensuing disappointment when you’re not listened to
Not compromising on your career path, even if that means being a workaholic
A quiet night’s sleep
Toilet seat is exactly where you left it. Down. And on that note, bathroom is cleaner.
No need to temper that obsessive love for your pet(s)
During the dark night of the soul, not having to wonder if you’ve settled
Having loads of gay friends
Vacations never need to include camping
Recounting your sagas the way you want to, without fear of being corrected
No bickering. Really. We don’t “bicker” with friends
Along those lines, no reason to nag
When that towel is on the floor, there is only you to blame
If you want to be on time, be on time. If you want to be late, be late.
Not worrying that it somehow reflects badly on you when your spouse gains weight
(For those still getting newspapers) getting first crack at the sections you want
Not fretting over whether you’ll get a gift for important life cycle events
No one holding a mirror up to your most annoying traits
Most comfortable chair in your home is always available
More room on the bookshelves
Sleeping on a diagonal
Expensive body wash lasts at least twice as long
Way fewer crumbs
There’s no one to answer, “Do I look fat in these pants?”
(This post was also published in Double X, a new site for women launched by Slate)
Discussion
32 comments for “40 Reasons To Be Single”
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FIRST PERSON SINGULAR is a guide to surviving, thriving and sometimes just getting through a single day. Created by Wendy Braitman (more…)
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You only have yourself to process in therapy!!!
After a while you don’t even need to spend money on the therapy because all you ever talked about during the session was your dysfunctional relationship!
Love it! Thanks for this! I’m going to print it out and hang it up.
A quiet house
No snoring to keep you awake
Seven crackers and an apple can be dinner
Not hearing the same jokes or anecdotes 8 million times
Leg shaving at your own discretion
Opening your own pickle jar without worrying about emasculating someone
No “checking in” calls necessary
I could go on and on…
Solitude rocks!
[…] looking forward to wearing them, if L.A. ever cools down. Beyond that, I have hope. (See #17 of 40 Reasons to Be Single.) And I hope that […]
[…] […]
I am 30 and single and I wanna say: this is pathetic 😛
Tell me more.
OMG I love this! I shared it on my FB page, hope that’s ok!
I’d add, dont have to explain playing air guitar to a GaGa song at 1am… and other joys of living an unscrutinized life!
Spread the love around. Thanks for sharing.
this list is great Wendy! I’ll print it, and pin it to somewhere easily accessible. just in case I need reminding ( or the thousand pairs of shoes are not enough of a reminder…)
Thanks, Nicole. I’d enjoy hearing what you would add to the list!
I made the mistake of marrying someone I wasn’t in love with and only have misery to show for it. I got out of the situation and I’m slowly starting to rebuild my life over again. My advice to any and all women/men. NEVER SETTLE!
Thanks for this blog Wendy ~
There’s still so much pressure to marry. I’m not surprised to hear your story, or that there are many others who have done the same. I remember reading a piece in The Atlantic by Lori Gottlieb about the benefits of settling, and it really bothered me. Thanks for chiming in!
I just found your blog due to an article in the washington post!! Thanks for this – I am not only sharing it on FB but I am printing it out as a constant reminder that being single is just fine.
I’m so glad you found the way to FPS. Please continue to stay in touch. And join in the conversation.
More come to mind… when on vacation, never having to factor in headaches, naps, indifference, alternate itineraries, etc unless they are your own!
SO glad I found your blog!!!
AND Happy Valentines Day! Pop a bottle of your fav champagne and have a wonderfully cozy day!
Discovered your blog today through the Washington post. Absolutely loved going through it! Can relate to so many things here!
And if I may add one more point – travelling whenever you want, where ever you want, impromptu vacations take on a whole new meaning!
I’m so glad you find your way here. Unfettered vacations seems to be a theme.
Never being called too sensitive for standing up against gaslighting.
Not having to carry around the burdens at home like a piano on your back.
Having sex only when you feel like it. Which is pretty often, actually, when there’s no guilt trips or pressure.
One thing I’d add to the list:
– So many good things that you don’t list them because you would never stop
And now, Wendy, for the great things about being married. I’m taking them from your pie chart in the Washington Post article.
1. Companionship…
1a. …with someone who makes you wish for someone else.
1b. …or makes you feel like you “settled.”
1c. …or is too much of this, too little of that, compared to the spouses of your friends…
1d. …to whom your spouse is the ultimate fantasy.
2. Financial stability…
2a. …until the divorce.
2b. …that you would trade, in an instant, for someone else, or for being alone, instead.
3. Children…
3a. [don’t get me started, there are so many ways you could want this one back]
4. Physical intimacy…
4a. …which is the only kind of which you two are capable.
4b. …with your survival cheat.
5. Fitting in…
5a. …because misery LOVES company.
Just sayin’. There is nothing to which a relationship makes one immune. Including – PARTICULARLY – loneliness.
Sleeping on the diagonal, for sure. After watching “Something’s Gotta Give”, I had to try sleeping in the middle of the bed; I haven’t looked back since.
I’m a total bed hog, and love that I get to be one.
Hey, I happen to love camping! no stereotypes, please.
I hear you. Let me think about adding a note.
Agreed, Robin! One of the ones on my list would be: backpacking on any weekend that suits you with anyone you want.
Well I m a 37 year old never married . This list give me guilty pleasure . Lest me explain I really want some in my life. However im so scares of loosing all the perks that come with being single. Sometimes I think this why I can’t get men in my life maybe I show this to men with out knowing .
I’ve never been a big fan of the theory that people are single because they’re scared. I think it’s because they haven’t met the right person, and there’s no need to settle.
I came across your site via the Washington Post. It is inspiring!
I’m 36, I’m single and, well, I’m learning. In the meantime I’m thoroughly enjoying your site and this post has motivated me to write my own list.
Thank you!
Welcome, Belle. It’s great to hear from you!
[…] I was inspired to write this list by Wendy Braitman’s post https://firstpersonsingular.org/2009/09/30/40-reasons-to-be-single/ […]