First Person Singular by Wendy Braitman

filed in Daily Life, Strategy Session

7 Ways to Dig Yourself Out of a Bad Mood

October 13, 2009 ⋅  Email This Post ⋅  Print This Post ⋅ Post a comment

I’ve been reading about the new book, Bright-Sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America, by Barbara Ehrenreich, who is a writer I admire. I like the title and I get her point. Sometimes really terrible stuff happens, and there is no sane explanation for it, no talking your way out of it or using it as an opportunity for growth.

But it does help to have coping skills. During tough times, I dig into what I call a stress toolbox, which beats spending time buried underneath the covers (especially for me, since I’m a lousy sleeper). Here are the contents:

Tool 1:

EXERCISE. I take ballet class as often as I can. It’s challenging and requires such physical and mental focus that my state of grumpiness is always altered, even if it doesn’t last. Running. Biking. Yoga. Whatever. You can’t beat the endorphins.

Tool 2:

DRY VODKA MARTINI. The staples in my freezer are martini glasses and a bottle of vodka (as well as chocolate chip ice cream. See Tool 3). There is always a jar of Vermouth-soaked olives in the fridge. I hope it goes without saying that this is not advised if you can’t stop at one, or if you’re about to operate a moving vehicle.

Tool 3:

NOURISHMENT. I make myself a lovely meal, usually involving pasta and a chocolatey dessert. Great take-out (like chicken pot pie) works too, as does sitting at the counter of a wonderful restaurant where you feel at home.

Tool 4:

GRATITUDE. When I’m feeling particularly pitiful, I force myself to name at least three things from that day that I’m grateful for. The more bummed out I am, the more important this is to do. I literally have to force myself to come up with things. Only rule, nothing is too trivial. When I lived in San Francisco, a good parking spot was an easy bet for the top three.

Tool 5:

SPIRITUALITY. I pray with an incredible Jewish congregation every week, because it helps lift me beyond my petty gripes, to care more about community, and if I’m lucky, I catch a glimpse into the divine. I know praying is not for everyone. How about meditation?

These final two are my emergency tools, and what I reach for when all else fails. They often work in conjunction with one another.

Tool 6:

THIS TOO SHALL PASS. The bad times don’t last forever. (And as it goes, neither do the good times.) I tried to remember this during a recent root canal. Did it work? Not exactly. Which brings me to:

Tool 7:

GET COMFORTABLE WITH BEING UNCOMFORTABLE. It’s okay to feel bad sometimes, even if it hurts.

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