First Person Singular by Wendy Braitman

filed in Holiday Cheer

Mid-holiday Limbo

December 28, 2009 ⋅  Email This Post ⋅  Print This Post ⋅ Post a comment

I’m having a rough holiday. During this weird week in between Christmas and New Years, I’m happy for the return of some of my favorite comforts. Two close friends who were out of town visiting family are back in the hood, as is a juicy, new issue of The New Yorker. (I’ll have to wait until January 4 for Jon Stewart.)

Traffic in L.A. remains refreshingly light, except near shopping hubs. On Christmas Day, I appreciated the utter stillness of American commerce coming to a halt (not counting the movie biz which had its greatest weekend ever!) And yet, I’m relieved that Noel, with its endless Carols and pressure to be encased in the perfect family unit, is now a full year away.    

Here’s an inspiring post-Christmas comment from one of our readers, JEN:

This was the first Christmas of my entire 41-year-old life that I woke up in a home with no other people. My sister and I had always spent Christmas Eve night at my mother’s so we could wake up together, but my mother passed away last year and my sister is recently married and pregnant and, worse, her in-laws were coming. It hit me that I didn’t have a family of my own and I was going to have to be the tag-along with my sister’s this year.

I emotionally prepared for this week prior to Christmas by getting depressed and sharing my heartache with other (mostly single) friends. Some have never been married, some are divorced and a couple are recent widowers. Not all of them were willing to comfort me, but I discovered that a lot of people I knew were facing similar Christmases. Some of them had had to make these kinds of adjustments years before, when they were still in their tender youths.

I went out and bought nicotine patches. I used to smoke and the nicotine kicked right in like an old friend. I told my therapist, I’m not taking these off until after the holidays.

Finally, I made the crossing. I accepted the changes that were happening in my family. What a relief! I woke this morning alone in my apartment with my dog. (The dog helped greatly, as he has since I got him.) I drank coffee alone and enjoyed a leisurely morning. Then I loaded all the gifts in the car and the two apples pies I’d made and the dog. It was one of my best Christmases ever. I had made complete peace with my aloneness and I felt like a rock star.

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