filed in Daily Life
Is Being Mysterious an Aphrodisiac?
Last night, I went to one of my favorite cultural spots, the ALOUD series at the downtown library, to hear a conversation with the novelist, Tim O’Brien. In person, O’Brien, who writes about his experiences in the Vietnam War, is a compelling mix of yin-yang, at the same time gruff and tender. He talked about the importance of mystery in storytelling, “When you learn the riddle of a person,” he said, “you’ve been married one day too long.” What is the role of mystery in romance? Whatever it is, I’m not good at it. And it doesn’t seem to be a personality trait you can cultivate, despite what some dating books suggest. When someone asks me out for a Friday night on Thursday, I just can’t pretend that my schedule is all booked up. Do mysterious women (and men) have better love lives?
If you’re looking for a feisty read about trying to find love (and often settling for sex), check out a new book by Julie Klausner, I Don’t Care About Your Band.
Photograph by Irving Penn
Discussion
2 comments for “Is Being Mysterious an Aphrodisiac?”
Leave a Reply
About this Site
FIRST PERSON SINGULAR is a guide to surviving, thriving and sometimes just getting through a single day. Created by Wendy Braitman (more…)
Follow First Person Singular
Greatest Hits
I know! I can’t play hard to get to save my life, unless I’m really not interested and even then I have a hard time.
Recently I went on a date with this guy and he has not called again! I have a sneaking suspicion I was a little too eager on the date, darn it!
I just want to point out there’s a big difference between discovering the riddle of a person and feigning disinterest for fun. We are all individual and mysterious provided someone is intrigued enough (present enough) to wonder about us. Recently, for instance, a man was captivated by my openness. My candor and my ease disclosing things about myself was the very thing he found mysterious; it was so foreign to his experience.