First Person Singular by Wendy Braitman

Zen of Not Caring What Others Think

During one horrific time in my life, an unhinged boyfriend with whom I’d just broken up, started spreading vicious lies about me. We were in the same line of work, and it made me sick to think about colleagues hearing these awful things. Would people wonder, even for a moment, if they were true? At the end of the day, I couldn’t stop it from happening. But what got me through the experience, was a friend who assured me that rational people would figure it out. And that’s exactly what happened. I remember this sometimes, when I find myself too invested in imagining what people are saying behind my back.

Image via this isn’t happiness

San Francisco Bound

I’m off into the arms of trusted friends, for a birthday party, the Oscars, and all around soul soothing.

Image: Open Drawers, 2007, Greg Drasler

Books: I Can’t Quit You

In Super Sad True Love Story, a scary sci-fi novel set in the believable near future, it’s become subversive to own books which are considered smelly, like old tennis shoes. The protagonist whispers to his cache of hardcovers, “you’re sacred to me,” expressing my sentiments exactly.

Illustration: Marcos Chin

Has a Self-Help Guide Ever Helped You?

I’m seeking advice wherever I can find it, and really appreciate of all your helpful comments. (Please keep them coming.) Yesterday, a friend chimed in with what she’s sure is the definitive answer. Read anything by Rumi.

Illustration by Hope Gangloff. See her paintings at Susan Inglett Gallery.

How to Clown Around With Anxiety

When I find myself spiraling into worse case scenarios, which is happening these days about every 90 minutes, I try to jolt myself out of it with the mantra, HOPE/TRUST. I do this because a therapist friend suggested I need to have more “trust” that everything is going to “work out,” so even if I don’t really believe it right now, I’m going to pretend. HOPE/TRUST. The anxiety is spreading to silly, mundane things, like, will I get a parking spot on the right side of the street to avoid a ticket, when there are so many bulky garbage cans out tonight taking up precious space? HOPE/TRUST. Or, will the rain that’s being forecast on Friday, delay my flight to San Francisco, and make me miss a hair color appointment? HOPE/TRUST. What’s your mantra?

Image: Untitled #425 by Cindy Sherman. See her retrospective starting 2/26 at MOMA.

Presidents Day in Brooklyn

Image of Lincoln by Visual Resistance (photo: James Rojo). More Brooklyn street art here:

10 Platitudes That I Hope Are True

1.   Crisis = Opportunity
2.   It’s always darkest before the dawn
3.  The most certain way to succeed is always to try one more time
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On the Hunt for Endorphins

I’m a wreck. In the face of looming life changes too big to absorb or talk about here (for now), I’m trying to find equilibrium. None of my usual coping methods of gratitude, popcorn movies, comfort food or soulful prayer, are offering any relief. What marginally works is a nightly martini with vermouth-soaked olives in a frozen glass. Even better is going to my ballet class, where everything is beautiful, despite a broken heart.

Image: Still-life Polaroid by Andy Warhol

One Last Backward Glance

via Partners & Spade

Healing Power of Pretty Clothes

What gets you through the day during difficult times? Putting on a fabulous pair of boots or a great piece of jewelry has been known to cheer me up. Check out this trailer for a film about the iconic fashion photographer, Bill Cunningham. For decades, he has been taking snapshots of high society folks and trend-setting downtowners for his addictive NY Times column, On the Street.