First Person Singular by Wendy Braitman

Please Don’t Expect Me at Your Baby Shower

How unfair is it that men get off the hook for the baby shower? Are we supposed to assume that women innately like this kind of thing? The last one I attended was over a year ago, but the experience is seared into my memory, and not in a good way. For entertainment, baby food jars were passed around, and we had to guess whether the green stuff was puréed spinach or peas. I came in last place in that “game,” which is really hard for an over achiever. (Scrabble, anyone?) I’ve consulted with the mom-to-be, who admits it’s all about the gifts. So thanks, but no thanks. I’ll be sending my best wishes and present through the mail.

Illustration: Friends, 2010, Antonio Ladrillo