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Saturday Night: Two Couples and Me
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I don’t know about this. I have friends who are coupled and I’m friends with all involved parties and I’d go out with them on a Saturday night. I think it depends on where they’re going. To an intimate restaurant, probably not. Bowling, yeah probably. Have you found that if you’re the only singleton amongst couples you get really good at singing for your supper and entertaining everyone? I think it’s really because they’re jealous and want to be single like me.
Last Saturday I went to a friend’s house for dinner. I was told it was going to be her and her live-in boyfriend, a neighbor, and a mutual friend, plus me and whatever guest(s) I invited. I invited a (male) friend who had asked me if I’d like to hang out that weekend (nothing going on there, just friends, he was just looking for something to do and it was an open invite). Well, it turned out to be friend/boyfriend, her friend/girlfriend, her neighbor/boyfriend, her single neighbor, and me and friend. So, of course, 3/4 of the way through the night, it “comes out” that my friend and I are not dating, just friends. Said couples spent the rest of the night “privately” telling me and friend that the other has a thing for us. This is why I don’t hang out in couple-dominated environments. I was just trying to have a fun night with friends, not hook up with a good friend who I have no romantic interest in.
Oh, that sounds complicated. My Saturday night is simpler. There will be 2 couples (one married, the other engaged) and me. They’re all wonderful people, so I’m sure I’ll have fun. I do wish I had a date, if for nothing else than symmetry at the table.
I’d distinguish emotional symmetry — which may not be there between or among the couples — from physical body-count symmetry.
Yeah, I know. Thanks.
I don’t have any friends who have been single for any significant amount of time. So, I make just about every group I join odd (…numbered) and have for the last 15 years. If I declined invitations from couples, I probably wouldn’t get out so much. As for entertaining, I make it a point to go out on a bad date every couple of months or so – what couple doesn’t like bad date stories? I think the only ones who envy me are the writers and stand up comedians.
It depends on who the couple is. I feel totally comfortable hanging out with my best friend and her boyfriend, if they invite me. I think the only time it’s uncomfortable is if one of the “coupled” people are insecure for some reason.
By the way, did anyone see the Today Show segment this week about the joys of living alone?
I did not see the Today Show. But living alone is in the zeitgeist, since Eric Klinenberg’s book came out.
For the dinner tomorrow night, I ended up inviting a friend, so now there’s 6, a much more graceful number. (But I certainly would’ve gone, no matter what.)
I think one factor is–how often do you see the members of the couples separately from their spouses? I have a friend who I see a lot away from her husband, so when I see her *with* her husband I don’t feel as marginalized.
Two couples would definitely be trickier, though. I agree with Beth that it totally depends who they are.
CC
Last Christmas, at my house, I cooked for 4 couples, and me. That’s my record, so far.
Honestly, I couldn’t care less if I hang out with couples. It’s about the people, not the relationship configuration. And let’s be honest — there are lots of married couples far more miserable, and living lives of quiet desperation, than we are as singles.
I just think we get too consumed about relationship status. As do people IN relationships. I just wish everyone would let it go; it’s about the people in question, and whether you like spending time with them, not whether they’re single, married, whatever.
Thanks, Trixie. That’s an extremely balanced attitude. I get there most of the time, but not always (e.g. weddings or family gatherings).
I have the benefit of having been married twice. The second marriage broke up after he carried on with his girlfriend for more than a year in our bed during his lunch hour when the house was empty. So now I am quite happy to be on my own! Better than than living in a torturous situation, and now I never assume married couples are happy — everyone thought we were. And I did too! It certainly gave me perspective into what can often be the myth that married/settled means happy. And that being single really can be quite peaceful, content and pleasant.
I appreciate the perspective.