filed in Sex and Dating
On Match.com, What Are They Thinking?
Actual content:
“Deeply narcissistic, exaggerated sense of self-importance, and stunningly shallow. (I know: I had you at “Hello.”) Kidding aside…. “
Eraser, 1967, by Vija Celmins
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14 comments for “On Match.com, What Are They Thinking?”
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I’ve found that it really doesn’t matter much what is said in a dating profile. Men don’t really spend a whole heck of a lot of time reading them. As was suggested in one of the comments to your post regarding OK Cupid, it seems most men respond to as many as possible and hope that a few stick. I hate being part of this cattle call when I have taken the time to be specific regarding what I’m looking for in dating companion. Choosing me because I responded is not one of those things for which I’m looking.
I like a little sass, but there’s definitely a line. I don’t mind it if it’s at their own expense, but I don’t think I’d like it if it was at the expense of others.
Okay. That’s interesting. Does the above qualify as sass?
Sarcasm is my way of filling in the forms without taking it too seriously. I hate the profiles that ask “are you the one?” and go on about what a hopeless romantic sugar daddy the guy is.
So far this poll is almost even. Sarcasm works better than I thought.
This is not sarcasm, which is meant to hurt, but satire,. This kind of thing, which I use, screens IN the alert, hip, withit, getit kind and screens OUT those who don’t get it. All desirable.
I am a man and I read to see if a woman has any interestSSSSS is literate, has an education, etc.
Of course, that’s after she has passed the picture test, which is, does she look like a regular woman, not obese, not too beautiful (they are nuts) and maybe revealing something close to her real age…
Am I mistaking satire for sarcasm? Here the definition of satire: the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices.
I agree that sarcasm/satire/flippancy/whatever can be very funny and attractive. I accept that it won’t work for everyone, but it can be a great tool for finding someone whose humor aligns with yours. One guy’s description of looking for “obedient arm candy” was hilarious to me, especially because he was also self-deprecating.
Another guy I corresponded with got very upset when I “confessed” that I was an elderly pre-op transvestite with six children instead of a 40 year old child free woman – I thought it was pretty obvious I was kidding and an appropriate joke for the context of the discussion at the time, but he didn’t get it. It’s just as well we never met. I like someone I can joke around with.
Obedient arm candy guy and I did end up meeting, and he was great, but it didn’t work out for other reasons, alas.
Don’t get me wrong. I love to laugh. It just has to be funny. And when someone starts their profile by saying they’re shallow and a narcissist (given the men I’ve dated) it’s a little scary.
Sarcasm or satire only works for me to a certain extent. I once read a profile that went along the sarcasm line for about 15 (not short) paragraphs….and that was a little too much for me. While I do appreciate sarcasm and satire, after about two or three paragraphs, I like to see something a little more real.
Yeah, I find what that guy said to be okay. Not very original, but I think he’s just trying to be funny. It’s so hard to know what to say, especially when so many profiles look exactly the same.
Okay. You’ve all convinced me. The next time I’m looking through profiles, I’m going to try and have a more open mind.
Good for you Wendy! It’s so easy to pick apart profiles that it’s sometimes hard to remember that they are really only icebreakers. As a gifted writer, I’m sure it’s even more difficult for you to overlook such awkwardness, too, but unless you’re only looking for other equally gifted writers, an open mind may be needed. I had to remind myself that the science/engineering types that I prefer are not exactly known for their written communication skills 🙂 But don’t listen to me – I shut down my profile a while ago, so obviously I’m not the one to look to for successful online dating advice!
good luck!!
I’ve shut mine down a few times. And when I get antsy for a date, I try to persuade myself to go back. What I’ve also learned with profiles is that someone could be good at writing a profile, but it doesn’t necessarily make them a good date.