filed in Myths and stereotypes
Single Advice You Would Like to Tune Out
“You’d have more luck finding a husband if you wore a little make up.”
To those well-intentioned people, who can’t help but weigh in, thanks, but no thanks.
Which piece of advice do you NEVER need to hear again?
Image: Listen Up by Takashi Saito
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27 comments for “Single Advice You Would Like to Tune Out”
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“The right person will come along as soon as you relax and stop looking for them.”
Yes! I’ve heard that one many times.
“I truly believe that there is someone out there for everyone.”
My grandmother used to say, “every pot has a cover.”
I’m with Kathy and Wendy. I’ve heard that repeatedly.
I’ve been told I would be a better “catch” if I lost weight, grew out my hair, cut my hair, learned to cook, got a different job, found God (or L. Ron Hubbard), talked less, wore different clothes, wore perfume, gave up my favorite things (guitar, quilts, motorcycles), just “tried a little harder….” etc, etc, etc.
If I were doing all that, I’m not sure I’d have any time or energy left for my “soulmate.”
Both men and women have told me not to wear my hair short. Happily, I never listened.
You are too picky that is why you haven’t found anyone.
I get told all those things as well.
If that’s really all it takes, then why is it that other people can get married who have shorter hair, are larger, only wear pants, etc?
Too intimidating, too smart, too whatever… I always answer, the married Barbra Streisand.
“You’re too intimidating to men.” I hear that all the time. Hmmm, I wouldn’t change the great things that have happened in my life to make me so strong, educated and driven. There’s got to be a strong guy out there that can be a part of this team 🙂
I swear I will cut the next person who tells me BOTH, “love shows up when you stop looking!” and “put yourself out there a little more!” in the SAME conversation. OMG.
SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP.
Thank you.
“You need to get out there more”. This one drives me crazy! Mostly because the people who say it have no idea of what my life involves – I’m out doing so many different things all the time! I travel and go to shows and dinners and parties and do a lot of different activities – plenty of opportunity to run into a guy if that’s meant to be.
Often when someone says that, I’ll say “out where?” and watch them squirm as they don’t have an answer – they’re just regurgitating platitudes because me being single makes them so uncomfortable.
I’d still like to know where this magical “out there” is where I’m going to meet a guy if I show up there!
And we all have stories of friends who practically bump into their “soul mates” without being out there at all. It’s such a mystery.
I’ve heard it all. I was told that I would have a hard time finding a man when my hair was short (I never found one when it was long either, folks!), told I was too picky, told I’m too hard on guys, told my standards are too high, told that when I took initiative and asked guys out that I need to “let a man be a man and let him do the asking” (my asking out guys led nowhere, but it had nothing to do with me asking them out), etc.
People are *SO SURE* that they know the way for singles to find love, when they are so, so far from the truth.
@Jen – If anyone ever manages to come up with an actual answer when you ask “out where?”, let me, because I’d like to go there, lol.
In my case I choose to be single and I have been told that I will regret not having children and will die alone. However when they realize how stoked I am with single-ness, it’s funny how they stop trying to convince me to be in a relationship and start getting jealous of my lifestyle! 🙂
I like your confidence, Kim.
Melissa: I couldn’t have said it better!
And let me know where the “out there” is too, I’d really like to know!
All my life I’ve heard:
1. There is a lid for every pot!
2. You’re too picky!
3. When you’re not looking love will find you! Stop looking.
4. Put yourself out there! You’ll never find him sitting at home.
Really I think I’ll just read this book and eat a bag of peanut butter cups, the mini ones.
The mixed messages are so funny – stop looking, or it’s opposite, you’re not looking hard enough.
Hi i’m all the way in malaysia & i get the SAME comments from people who thinks they have my best interest at heart. Now i know its a global thing.
Good to know. Bad advice is universal!!
If only you lose abit of weight…
And I’ve heard the opposite. You should gain a little weight.
I overheard a co-worker call a friend to tell her she was engaged and then asked the person if she was dating anyone. I guess the answer was no because my co-worker then said, “oh, well, there’s still time. You should try Match.com.”
It took every ounce of my willpower not to jump over the cube wall and beat her with her phone.
Still time? Grrrrrr…….
@Lauren – There’s still time. You should still jump over the cube wall and beat her with her phone. Just sayin’…
>:-D