First Person Singular by Wendy Braitman

Jumping Into 5773

When the Jewish New Year of 5773 begins at sunset on Sunday, it initiates a period known as the Days of Awe. When I was growing up, I skimmed  the surface of these holidays, just happy to get a few days off from school and parade around in my pretty fall clothes. Now, it’s more of a spiritual exploration, a chance for renewal. What do I want to do differently this year? On my 5773 to-do list: Assume the best of people (especially while driving). Worry less. Celebrate more. Date.

Falling in Trees by Elijah Gowin

What’s Luck Got To Do With It?

“Lucky” neon light available at Rockett St. George

In Praise of Unconventional Beauty

I just learned the French term “jolie laide,” which literally means “pretty-ugly,” but implies beauty that’s unexpected, unconventional and oddly compelling. I was never a pretty girl, so I find hope in this phrase. The image above is a mural painted by a New Zealand artist, Rone in a very seedy district of San Francisco. The juxtaposition of the pretty-ugly (with street signs as part of the tableau) is what makes this so winning, and an apt reflection of what life feels like, sometimes. If you’re in San Francisco, visit Rone’s show at the White Walls gallery. The mural is at Olive and Larkin.

Can You Relate to This?

I’ve whined about numbers 5, 6 and yes, also 3. How about you?

Illustration from Michael Dumontier an Neil Farber

Holding On and Letting Go

9/11 is hours away. Fall is approaching. Here’s an excerpt from In Blackwater Woods by the poet Mary Oliver, who is 77 today:

To live in this world

you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it

against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,

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End of Week Tweak: How to Behave Better

For starters, I’m going to work on #5. What about you?

Image via Rolu

Finding the Road to Satisfaction

Daniel Kahneman, the Nobel-prize winning psychologist, has a theory about happiness that he calls “focusing illusion.” Kahneman suggests that people draw the wrong conclusions and often make flawed decisions, by giving too much weight to what we imagine will bring us sustained happiness, like having more money, moving to California, and perhaps you could add to this, living with a mate. (I take issue with him about California, because it really is that great.) I’m drawn to his point of view, which if I were to reduce to the barest of bones, is about finding real pleasure in the moment, as opposed to an unreliable construct. But don’t take my word for it. He’s got proof.

Illustration by Christoph Niemann

Is Life Fair?

Reading a review of Christopher Hitchens posthumous memoir Mortality, I was reminded of how he answered the why me question, after being diagnosed with cancer, “why not me,” he said. It would take a lot of spiritual counseling for me to have that grace.

Image by Michael Dumontier and Neil Farber

What Do You Need to Feel At Home?

There was a time a while back, when I was travelling the world with a lover. We lived in Berlin and used it as a home base for our frequent trips throughout Europe, with occasional jaunts back to the States. For a nester like me, it took awhile to adapt to our nomad lifestyle. We became each other’s anchors. And each new, strange bed became less so, when we were in it together. I didn’t miss that life once it was over. Now, a book, eyeshades and wherever possible, my dog all help me settle in. What works for you?

Feels like Home by Marcos Calamato