filed in Daily Life
What Vow Do You Make To Yourself?
A few months ago, I attended a friend’s wedding. I was so moved by the vows the couple made to one another that it inspired me to create a contest. I asked readers to make a vow to themselves, with the prize being a gift certificate to Crate & Barrel. I think of this prize as a kind of “Single Registry.” Thanks to everyone who took the time to contemplate the question. As in other FPS contests, so many good entries made it hard to choose just one. Our winner is Sabine. I was taken with her vow’s dual message and the simplicity with which she expressed it.
I vow to love myself first, and as I am.
Hearty congrats to Sabine. And please tell me, everyone, do you like the idea of a “Single Registry.” Is that a concept that resonates with you?
Image from Lisa Congdon
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6 comments for “What Vow Do You Make To Yourself?”
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beauty and brevity! Such a deserving win!
Congrats to Sabine–a wonderful vow!
Re: single registry. I have mixed feelings about this. I agree on principle (a sort of leveling of the playing field, if you will.). However, ALL registries (and showers) strike me as a bit of a gift grab that removes the personal element of giving between giver and receiver. And I remain ambivalent about giving gifts tied to domestic status. Maybe a better idea would be a shower for people when they set up their first living spaces after leaving the parental nest. I don’t know, Wendy–you’ve got me thinking again (which is one of the reasons I so love this blog–between your posts and the adorning artwork, I’m always given a reason to ponder and perhaps even modify my own ideas!)
I hear what you’re saying about not tying it to domestic status. Maybe it could be connected to some personal triumph –
I’m done with attending bridal showers/weddings/baby showers for people who are not extremely important to me in my every day life. I made this choice after picking up a high school friend’s registry to discover that she’d clearly just wandered Target and scanned everything she wanted. CAT LITTER. SHE REGISTERED FOR CAT LITTER. My mostly lower and mid-middle class friends don’t NEED anything from me, if they’re good friends I will make or get them a little something special–but not from a registry.
My friends who married recently had the most original registry. They asked friends to contribute to their landscaping, by buying a plant or shrub that they’d picked out in advance. It was really cool. A few months ago, I found a couple of chairs for my terrace that were fabulous and very expensive. And it was the first time I thought, hmmmm…. maybe I should finally do a registry.
No matter how anyone spins it to me, gift registries seem like a gift grab. Hopefully, your true friends know how important a life event or triumph is to you (new home, new job, fresh start after a divorce, new baby, new pet), and acknowledge in a way they want but think you’ll enjoy (gift, heartfelt letter, homecooked dinner, dog toy). Although I’ve spent great amounts of money over the years on weddings, baby gifts, etc, I refuse to the feed the beast with the notion of a single’s registry. If I was inclined to create one, it would feel as though it was out of spite or leveling the playing field, which doesn’t seem like the best solution.
And as much as I’d appreciate a gift that acknowledges a personal triumph, for me the “gift” was achievement of the defined goal.
I do like your friends’ idea of the landscaping – giving a living thing that will grow and bring enjoyment for years – I like the symbolism (or at least what I read into it). Next question I guess is “why is a garden different from the collection of stuff I’d get from any other type of registry”? Maybe part of the answer is it depends on what is important to you and how you feel about “stuff”.
As always, an interesting question, Wendy. Thanks for making us think.