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Yesterday, I posed a question about the idea of a single registry, because it’s something I’ve been thinking about organizing. Your opinion really matters. So please, let me know your thoughts. (And thanks to those who’ve weighed in so far.)
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10 comments for “Are You In Need of a Compliment?”
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When I bought my condo 6 years ago, I registered at Macy’s. I invited my family and a few friends to my virtual housewarming, as I live in a different city. I did not recieve overwhelming support, but I did want to make a statement, at the least.
My thinking is that it would help if there was a structure already in place for this type of thing. But we’re asking people to envision a new idea. And that takes time.
I love this idea Wendy. Can you elaborate a bit more? Were you thinking singles registry at say…Crate and Barrel, then having a party?! I have a huge chip on my shoulder (I’m not proud of it) when it comes to bridal and baby showers. I hate them with a passion…probably because I feel obligated to purchase a gift because of someone’s life choice. So, it stands to reason that if my life choice (I used the word choice loosely)is to be single and childless…I should celebrate!
I’m not exactly sure of all the particulars, Heather, which is why I’m so eager to hear from all of you. I like the idea of single people having some sort of structure in place for a registry, should they choose to use it. Maybe it would be connected to moving into a new home or some other triumphant moment. And yes, a party sounds good, for those who live near by.
While I understand the thought behind a single person’s gift registry (my favorite Sex and the City episode is A Women’s Right to Shoes), I have a hard time getting behind it because I think it’s from a bygone era when people actually needed stuff and the people who bought them the things they needed were more established in their own lives. I find it troubling that a couple with two incomes and a home full of “necessities” register for gifts. Why should broke single folks buy for them? If I get married someday, I will not register and I will not do so as a single person either. I’m all for celebrating though, let them eat cake, married and single alike!
It’s great to get your feedback, Molly. I have to say that I didn’t expect this response, which has now been echoed by a number of people. And I will definitely mull it over.
Perhaps a “coming of age” type of registry? Originally I thought of this as a way to celebrate one’s moving out on one’s own, but that would leave out people who may, through family circumstances, remain in the parental nest (perhaps caring for an ill parent–what a sacrifice!)
OTOH, the idea of a singles registry with an actual singles SHOWER might be fun! I no longer attend bridal/baby showers* (nor do I necessarily buy gifts either) somewhat because of the discrimination inherent in them but mostly because they are dreadfully boring and a few hours out of my life that I’ll never get back.
*Just sent regrets a couple of weeks ago to a baby shower. This is the wife of one of my colleagues. I do not socialize with either one of them AND no men in my department were invited (though a female colleague was). A little stereotyping of gender roles, anyone?
In the modern world, it has never made sense to me that men don’t get invited to showers. And from what I hear, they’re quite relieved.
In 2001 I decided to quit my job and go back to finish my Ph.D.. As I had moved countries twice in the two years prior, I had given up my housewares two times. I thought I should be able to have a “going back to school registry” since I was a) poor and b) had no household stuff. When I mentioned this idea to people they simply rolled their eyes. For some reason babies and weddings deserve gifts but dedicating oneself to the life of the mind did not. After finishing the degree I moved countries and started from scratch yet again. Shortly after two well-off 30-something home-owning friends got married and included among their registry items a jeweled cake server, I decided that I was through with registries altogether. Since then someone pointed out that she thought the whole idea of a registry was gauche because it’s basically telling other people what to give you! It probably made sense at a time when returns weren’t so easy and the couple-to-be didn’t want to end up with two toasters. Today I don’t think it makes much sense apart from flagrant consumerism. A gift should be from the heart or else, if you know people are in need, give them something they can use (usually cash). In general I think people should shop less and connect more. Most of us need friends/love/support more than stuff.
In theory, I don’t mind the idea of telling people what you’d like for a gift. There are so many gifts we give and get that go unused. I’d prefer it be something everyone is happy with, and gets put to good use.