filed in Daily Life
In Honor of Mom
Today is the anniversary of my mother’s death. I’ll light a memorial candle that will flicker for 24 hours, and go to services to say the Kaddish, the Jewish prayer of mourning. We’re only allowed to say this prayer in a gathering of at least 10 adults, also known as a minyan, which is a wonderful idea, really, that guarantees we’ll be surrounded by community at a difficult time. I love saying the Kaddish. It’s got a primal cadence to it that comforts me. I watched my parents and grandparents light these candles and say these prayers, and when I do these things, I feel connected to them. This is ritual at its best, providing a mooring for grief and remembrance. My mother always wanted me to call her more often. For the next 24 hours, we’ll be chatting.
Artwork by Javier Jaén Benavides
Discussion
16 comments for “In Honor of Mom”
Leave a Reply
About this Site
FIRST PERSON SINGULAR is a guide to surviving, thriving and sometimes just getting through a single day. Created by Wendy Braitman (more…)
Follow First Person Singular
Greatest Hits
Good wishes for your 24 hour chat.
I feel like on this one day of year, I have a direct line.
May her memory be for a blessing and your conversation be heart-full.
I apologized, thanked her and asked for help.
What a touching ritual. May you find comfort and connection with her.
I wear my mother’s wedding band. In that way, I get to think of her everyday.
Yes, my mother died 10 years ago in August. I MISS HER SO MUCH!!!. I used to talke to here just about every day by phone and visited her and my dad about 6 timees per year after I left home.
She was my best friend..
My mother was not my best friend, and I’m always in awe of people who had that sort of relationship. That is something to cherish and be grateful for, and it sounds like you do and you are.
What a wonderful way to remember your mother!
My brother and I touched base, as well. She would’ve liked that.
Ditto to all the sentiments expressed by you and the commenters above.
Thanks. I appreciate it.
Wendy – just a beautiful post. You’ve nudged me to call my mother (and dad), even though sometimes I put it off for far too long.
Beautiful thoughts by the other posters here as well.
Store up those good memories, Lola. They’ll need to last.
Lovely post, Wendy. I have a tricky relationship with my mother but it is getting a bit better. Perhaps both of us sense that there aren’t many days left to improve it so we better get started. In any case, you helped me see ahead to what I might miss when she’s gone. Thanks.
Our relationship was tricky, too. That’s a good word for it. One of my regrets was not writing down any of my mother’s delicious recipes.