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Favorite Times to Be Alone
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Illustration by Belhoula Amir
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31 comments for “Favorite Times to Be Alone”
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– When I’m running.
– After a fun-filled evening socializing with friends. I need some solitude to calm down.
– After interacting with my family of origin. I avoid them, since there are some abusive patterns of behaviour. After I see them, I need time alone to remember myself, to undo any old patterns of thinking/negative self-talk that I may pick up again.
Excellent list. YES, post visit with family of origin. Thanks Pechke.
– Sunday morning. I get up a little earlier, make breakfast (the food groups of cheese, butter and corned beef hash are all present), make coffee, turn on the jazz station I created on Pandora and eat, sip and read. Saturday is all running errands and seeing friends but Sunday really is all mine, crazy hair, fuzzy socks and all. The only way it could be better is if it’s kind of cool out and I can open the windows and feel a breeze.
Latarsha – You Sunday morning sounds absolutely lovely! I’ll think I’ll join you next Sunday, in the privacy of my own home and with my own crazy hair of course 🙂
Lola, I’m happy to share my Sunday mornings as long as people stay in their own homes while they enjoy it! 🙂
You had me at cheese, butter and corned hash.
And fuzzy socks.
I can picture it. And it sounds blissful.
When I’m clothes shopping
When I’m looking for something and I don’t know exactly where it is
When I do laundry
When I’m enroute to a destination via a common carrier (e.g. airplane, train, bus.) And yes I realize it’s impossible to be alone at these time but I’d just like to be left alone.
Tell me more Michele about looking for something and not knowing exactly where it is.
Ugh. Last week a friend who I see once a year because she lives overseas was here for dinner with her husband and three kids (7, 7 and 5) and one of the twins started whining about a rash on his neck (there was nothing there) and she asked me if I had any cream or anything to put on it. Now, my house isn’t set up for kids and I keep doors to bedrooms and office closed for a reason and I had no idea whether I had some ointment or not but the kid felt in necessary to follow me as I looked and not only that be within my personal space and my friend was encouraging him to follow me around while I looked in both bedroom and office. I didn’t really mind looking to see if had any ointment, and I’m quite generous with my things if I have them, but don’t follow me around from room to room and don’t get in my personal space. I know he was a child but a) she was egging him on and b) she would have done the same thing. If I tell you to stay there while I get something or go look for something please STAY WHERE YOU ARE, I WON’T ABANDON YOU.
Sounds like your friend wasn’t listening to you.
She once did nearly the same thing to me when I was dress shopping. Fortunately I adore her so I’m willing to forgive her a fault or two. No one is perfect and she forgives me a lot too.
Good instinct. I’d be nowhere if my friends didn’t forgive me, from time to time.
I’ll echo pechke and say running–just me and my thoughts. No guilt about not working. Also, cleaning up after a successful dinner party. I just want to reflect on having brought friends together (some of whom may not have met each other before) for a communal meal; I also like to clean up my way!
And on a long-distance drive.
I also like to do clean up (my way) after a dinner party. And here’s where I’m like my mother – No matter what the hour, I do clean up before going to bed.
When I’m watching movies that I really like. I don’t want to hear any side comments, sighs, etc. Oftentimes, I immerse myself into the movie.
Ditto, Meg. Going to the movies alone is one of my favorite things. I have a much deeper experience without having to worry if my companion is having a good time.
Lap swimming. I’m a slow but steady swimmer. The sensory combo of cold water, the hum of my breathing, the sights of my lane allows me to be in the moment. The outdoor pool season in NYC is coming to a close and so I’m grabbing as many opportunities as I can to swim my 1/2 to 3/4 of a mile.
Speaking of water, one of my very favorite times alone is when I’m floating, naked, in the Atlantic at dawn.
Do you have private access to the Atlantic where you can swim naked?
I despise cleaning up after a meal. I love the sound of others at work in the kitchen after I’ve cooked and I’m relaxing elsewhere, alone and listening!
That’s great, Mary. I can totally visualize it.
I love love love been alone after a full day of work. I make dinner then read or watch a bit of tv with my cat. It is my down time what replenishes me.
I just had a busy weekend in SF where I socialized every minute. I needed some alone time with my dog after that.
Wendy – I just had a similar experience. Spent 5 days in Seattle with a friend and had a great time. But it was him and me TOGETHER for 5 straight days. I was never bothered as he is a great travel partner and I’m thankful to have a good friend to travel with, but on the last day when his flight left early and mine was later in the day, I spent the morning alone wandering the market, wine shops and just taking in the views alone. Man…THAT was perfect ME time.
Viva la difference!!
I like being alone a lot of the time. I grew up in a large noisy family so now that I live alone I savor every moment of solitude and peace.
I enjoy socializing and having friends over AND love my solitude too.
-Doing anything in the bathroom (“business”, hair, makeup, etc.) (I’m even a little leery about the cat being in there with me)
-Doing laundry (and I must be in pajamas, for whatever reason, or it won’t get done)
-Sleeping. It’s impossible to starfish when you’re sharing a bed with someone–even if that “someone” has only ever been your mom in hotels on family vacations. And does it really get any better than starfishing?? ^__^
I’m another fan who linked from the Washington Post article… thank you for writing the things you write. 🙂
Welcome, Leah. I’m so glad you found us, and thanks for taking the time to comment. I’ve had my own bathroom for so long, it’s hard to imagine sharing one (or the activities that take place in one) ever again.