filed in Daily Life
Thanks. But We’re Good to Go.
(I’m just back from a 3-day trip. More tomorrow.)
via French Voguettes
Discussion
11 comments for “Thanks. But We’re Good to Go.”
Leave a Reply
About this Site
FIRST PERSON SINGULAR is a guide to surviving, thriving and sometimes just getting through a single day. Created by Wendy Braitman (more…)
Follow First Person Singular
Greatest Hits
© 2010 First Person Singular. 
Exactly! If you create your own life–build your own world–it truly belongs to you. It’s a work of art! To simply accept someone else’s is to relegate yourself to the position of a prop in someone else’s play.
I went along with someone else’s life once. His was an exciting one with lots of travel and I enjoyed it for awhile. But eventually, I wanted my own.
Which is, in general, why I’ve avoided marriage. Not that I’m absolutely against it, but it seemed to me that the woman always had to adjust her life to the man’s. I’ve seen it over and over with my friends and family.
I hear you, Ann. “Compromise” too often is defined as “giving in”.
I do have a number of married friends with impressively equal partnerships. And I know husbands who cook.
I decided many years ago that if marriage meant that I’d lose my sense of my self, then it wasn’t worth it to get married. Just doesn’t seem worth it.
I have a cousin I adore who, 30 years ago, said that she felt the same way. Fifteen years ago, she got married. I still adore her, but really, she’s not the same person she used to be. I died a little bit inside when she said she couldn’t do something she wanted to do because her husband wasn’t on board with the idea.
When I was in my early twenties, I was living with a man who was an ambitious medical student. Somehow I knew (even if I couldn’t articulate it at the time) that marriage to him would’ve meant surrendering my own life.
Well I’ve seen both. My best friend in the area changed so much when she married her husband a few years ago…even though we’re still in touch and get together at times, I feel we’ve drifted apart. She’s no longer the friend I knew.
At the same time, I have two sisters who are married to AMAZING men. Seriously, the best brother in laws ever. And my sisters haven’t given an inch. 🙂
My sister didn’t change at all when she got married (and her husband was a great brother-in-law). She changed a little when she had kids. It wasn’t until she got divorced that she changed a LOT. And for the better – I always love her, but I like the divorced version of her best.
It’s good to change in some ways, isn’t it?
It takes a lot to keep a friendship together through the years. I’m so grateful to have friends I’ve known for decades, through marriage, divorce, children, illness – in other words, life.