filed in Myths and stereotypes
Marriage Fixation at the Nail Salon
After the holidays, I treated myself to a rare winter mani/pedi. As soon as I started to relax, the Mongolian-born manicurist, making small talk I’m sure, asked me what I did on Christmas, and I told her about my dinner party. She asked if I was a good cook, and I answered, “yeah, pretty good.” And then she said, “your husband is a lucky man.” In what seemed like an interminable few seconds of silence, I had a full conversation with myself, in which I debated the various ways to respond. In the end, I just smiled and shook my head, yes.
(For more on the subject, read Interrogation at the Nail Salon)
Photo of an Indian bridal ritual by Ozzie Hoppe
Discussion
30 comments for “Marriage Fixation at the Nail Salon”
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How about “I always think I’m the lucky one.” The other person will think you’re talking about your spouse/S.O., but you can say it to mean so many other things. In this case, it could be “I’m lucky because I’m a pretty good cook and I enjoy eating what I make.” It’s not an untruthful reply 🙂
That would’ve been an excellent response, Kerynn. In the context of wanting to just relax into a manicure (with someone who’s English wasn’t very good) I opted for the easy way out.
Let’s be best friends! ^__^
Wendy, yep, sometimes you just have to smile, keep calm, and carry on.
Did want to comment on the picture…I’m Indian and the mehndi parties (which is what the picture is of) before a wedding are one of my favorite traditions!
Lola,
One of the best parties I’ve been to was a mehndi party. The stories told, excellent food, feeling pampered and beautiful made for a truly memorable experience. It’s one wedding tradition I look forward to versus wanting to run for the hills.
I’ve just seen pictures, but it sounds amazing.
Lola, you should check out this photographers work, shot in India: http://goo.gl/PC1ICZ
Oh very nice, thanks for sharing.
just re-write what she said in your head —
“your husband is a lucky man.” becomes “you are lucky” and “your friends are lucky” 🙂
I’m sure it was a cultural thing, but it was her assumption that I was married that was so odd.
Your reaction sounds like a good default response for similar future encounters. I guess you have to pick your battles. Allison’s suggestion of rewriting also sounds effective.
I now deliver a non-committal “Mmmmm” with a tight “grin” and raised eyebrows; I’m not about to get into it when I’m trying to have fun.
That’s it exactly, Kathy. In those few seconds, I weighed the options, and decided to close my eyes and enjoy the hand massage.
I’m not sure how I would have responded. I think your way was good. I hope it didn’t spoil the enjoyable luxury of the manicure.
BTW, it was a particularly good manicure.
I would have done the same thing — and have done so in many similar situations. Her comment was, after all, meant kindly, and as you say the language barrier/cultural differences made it hardly worth your while to correct her. Happy New Year.
She was very sweet. And it was much easier to just nod. Happy New Year, Karen.
Amazing! Is this becoming a trend? (Also, was it the same salon?!)
I think silence was a great response.
Same salon. Different person, different country of origin. Maybe it’s part of their training.
Here’s the way I look at it…you “treated yourself” to a winter mani/pedi…and in order to relax and enjoy, you chose not to engage in the dreaded debate about marriage. I think you did the right thing in order to have a positive experience. I mean…they have you held captive!
I’m going tonight as a matter of fact for a much needed winter mani/pedi. If confronted…I’ll just smile and nod. Thank goodness for earphones!
Enjoy your mani/pedi, Heather. It’s a good winter treat.
It was fabulous. Especially since the nail tech didn’t speak a lick of English, so there was no awkward conversation! SCORE!
During that same manicure, there was a woman who had just finished, who had a cellphone on speaker and was making business calls. It was so rude. I had to ask her to stop.
Just saw a scathingly powerful documentary, Divorce Corp., about the insane world of Family Court. Sick, corrupt system. Made me think that single-hood ain’t so bad.
Singlehood ain’t bad for a whole host of reasons. Here are 40 of mine: http://goo.gl/kRRNjo
Love that list! If you ever get a chance to see “Divorce Corp”, it’s a must.
OK. I’ll look for it.
LMK if you find it and, if so, what you think. It screened for about a week at The Quad Cinema here in NYC. My guess is it will be on NetFlix soon. BTW, many critic reviews are tepid at best. I wouldn’t be swayed by them.
Thanks for the tip.
How about “I am happily single, and so pleased to be living in a place and time when that is an accepted lifestyle choice”. It refuses to take offense when offense was not likely intended, it educates, and it makes no apologies. It also promotes the attitude we want to see taken. I kept waiting to see this in the comments, and wondered why this doesn’t come easily? Somehow, we need to feel more secure in our reality …. these people don’t mean to be offensive, they just have a different reality, and likely haven’t put much thought into any other perspective. So, lets give them perspective!
Well said, Anne. Now, if I only knew how to translate that into Mongolian.