filed in Sex and Dating
How Far Have You Gone for a Date?
Once, I flew to Busan, which is a port city in South Korea. We had met at a film festival, and I couldn’t pass up another reason to travel to Asia. That’s certainly the longest distance I’ve traveled for romance. Although sometimes driving from my neighborhood across town in L.A. can seem a lot farther and less desirable.
Illustration from Personal Message
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16 comments for “How Far Have You Gone for a Date?”
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I’m a Canadian living in South Korea and just discovered your blog. It’s been great to read through it. I’m 38, never married, don’t want kids and it’s a very different life than what most people live in Korea. Pressure to marry is very high here and even though I’m not ethnically Korean (ie. not held to the same societal pressures) even the corner store ol’ man tells me I need to hurry up and find someone. The other day a Korean war veteran hit on me in the subway, so told him I was married thinking that would give me quick respite but it didn’t stop him. He was probably 30 years older than me, or more. It’s a country of contrasts. There is great importance put on marriage but many people cheat on their spouses. There are many opportunities to do so built into the culture. Divorce is still heavily looked down upon so people find other ways to “cope”. Often I’m not sure why I chose to live here because being single in your late thirties is hard enough 😛
Welcome, Dalma. I’m so glad to hear from you. It sounds like you’re on a wonderful adventure, even if at times, it’s difficult. I’ve been to South Korea a number of times and found it fascinating. The man with whom I had a fling was a prominent filmmaker, had lived in Paris, and was quite sophisticated. But he did not believe that there were any gays in his country. This was so laughable to me. He too was a man of opposites. Please hang in there. You’ll have great stories to tell. And I hope you keep sharing your experiences with us.
Thanks for the welcome, I’ll definitely check back often. It’s always nice to know I’m not alone and I’ve had to start consciously thinking about the things you’ve discussed here such as support networks.
Yup, Korea is a fascinating place! And yes, I’ve had the look of shock when Koreans explain to me there are no gays in their country.
Not that it’s important but, think I know which filmmaker … funny enough I’ve been on a binge watching his films this past week (well, if it’s who I think it is.) 🙂
It will be great to hear your Korean stories, Dalma. Please chime in anytime. (As far as the filmmaker, I’m afraid I can’t kiss and tell.)
Not sure I’d go more than 20min these days. And there had better be convenient parking.
For some reason a far-flung romance like you describe does sound so exotic though. In the worst case if the romance wasn’t what you expected, you’d have a destination to explore!
I suppose it was the combination of romance and travel. I have to admit that has hooked me a number of times before.
I once traveled from Kentucky to Southern California. It was a bust…but glad I had the opportunity.
I hope you at least enjoyed some good weather!
I think you’re going to win this one, Wendy!
I’m with Kathy–I want good parking.
I met a man recently who lived really close to my neighborhood, and had a garage. That was such a draw. Unfortunately, not enough, though.
The furthest I’ve gone is NYC. Not a bad train ride from where I am in DC, and I have a good friend in the city, so it seemed reasonable. The date was a total bust, but all in all, it ended up being a nice weekend nonetheless.
I think the key is to travel to an interesting place. Then if it doesn’t work out (which is usually the case) at least you can sight see.
I went from Chicago to LA, and it was a total bust for me too.
I’m sensing a theme here!
I have no regrets, even though they were all busts for me too. (Depending on how you define bust. Because the adventures were always worth it.)
I’m not sure if this counts or not, but I went 340 miles to an exciting city to have a fun weekend with a bunch of my cousins. At the time, I’d been communicating for several months via social media (not a dating website) with a man I hadn’t ever met in person. I knew he lived less than an hour’s drive from where I was meeting my cousins, and he was going to be in the city anyway for a work-related conference, so I decided, hey, why not meet in person for dinner? I had no intention of it ever being anything other than platonic. Well, the sparks flew, and very soon after that, we were seeing each other regularly, and not platonically, 😉 It didn’t last very long (the distance was too hard, and he has issues with monogamy – bad combination!) but I don’t regret it.
I’m glad you went for it, Stacey. If nothing else, it makes for a good story (especially to married friends who haven’t had a romantic adventure in awhile).