This one should be totally obvious, but it’s astounding at how many of the male species don’t seem to get it:
Not being fully available to me.
“Fully available to me” includes:
Never married
Divorced
No current girlfriend, no matter how “casual”
“Fully available to me” does NOT include:
Married
Separated
Separated, but “planning” to file for divorce
Divorce in progress (I’m not interested in being the rebound girl, nor am I interested in being the one to have to tell them that they’re not yet emotionally ready to be back in the dating pool)
Still seeing a “casual” girlfriend
It also does NOT include:
Calling me their girlfriend, significant other, or some other similar expression of attachment (especially if somewhere in there, the word “exclusive” was directly referenced), while, at the same time, “keeping their options open” by looking around to see what other females might be available if they decided they might want to give it a try
Of course, I’ve got a bunch of other deal-breakers, but that one seems to come up a lot now that I’m in my 40s. I don’t recall it being such a widespread problem a couple decades ago.
Smoking of cigarettes or anything else is another huge one for me. I’m asthmatic, and second-hand smoke is one of my triggers. And besides, it stinks. Luckily, I don’t encounter that one nearly as much as I used to.
Not letting a woman walk first through an elevator. I don’t know why this bugs me so much, it just does. And I’m perfectly happy opening my own doors and all that…just something about when man stands aside and lets all the women in an elevator walk out first…really gets to me, in a good way 😉
Living in L.A. with constant traffic has really stretched my car patience. When I first moved here, I couldn’t believe how mean everyone was on the road. Now, I get it.
Cheapness or stinginess of any sort is a deal-breaker. You don’t have to blow all your money on me, not even close, but if you’re shorting the waitress a dollar or two because you didn’t think she was all that great, then yeah, we won’t happen.
Lack of interest in the world. Seriously, if you aren’t keeping up with on a basic level what’s going on in the country and the world, what do we even talk about on a first date?
This one should be totally obvious, but it’s astounding at how many of the male species don’t seem to get it:
Not being fully available to me.
“Fully available to me” includes:
Never married
Divorced
No current girlfriend, no matter how “casual”
“Fully available to me” does NOT include:
Married
Separated
Separated, but “planning” to file for divorce
Divorce in progress (I’m not interested in being the rebound girl, nor am I interested in being the one to have to tell them that they’re not yet emotionally ready to be back in the dating pool)
Still seeing a “casual” girlfriend
It also does NOT include:
Calling me their girlfriend, significant other, or some other similar expression of attachment (especially if somewhere in there, the word “exclusive” was directly referenced), while, at the same time, “keeping their options open” by looking around to see what other females might be available if they decided they might want to give it a try
Of course, I’ve got a bunch of other deal-breakers, but that one seems to come up a lot now that I’m in my 40s. I don’t recall it being such a widespread problem a couple decades ago.
Smoking of cigarettes or anything else is another huge one for me. I’m asthmatic, and second-hand smoke is one of my triggers. And besides, it stinks. Luckily, I don’t encounter that one nearly as much as I used to.
This has been widespread for a long, long time. Trust me. I’ve been there.
Not letting a woman walk first through an elevator. I don’t know why this bugs me so much, it just does. And I’m perfectly happy opening my own doors and all that…just something about when man stands aside and lets all the women in an elevator walk out first…really gets to me, in a good way 😉
Good manners is a good thing.
Oh wow…this is easy…
Chews with mouth open.
Holds dining utensils like a 4 year old.
Shovels food in their mouth like it’s going to be taken away.
Orders food in a restaurant before I do.
Bites nails.
Dirty nails.
Long toe nails.
Doesn’t know the difference between your and you’re.
A mother that does his laundry…or any other household chore for him.
Bad kisser.
I just read over my list…seems a lot of it revolves around personal hygiene and table manners. Table manners are HUGE to me.
Bad kisser is a definite non starter. And irreversible.
Rude in traffic.
Surly with wait staff/service staff.
Impatience.
Living in L.A. with constant traffic has really stretched my car patience. When I first moved here, I couldn’t believe how mean everyone was on the road. Now, I get it.
Paying too much attention to phone while in conversation.
Palate of a three-year-old.
Bad kisser.
Bad speller.
Conservative politics.
Lack of sensuousness AND sensuality.
Vegan.
It would be hard for me to date a vegan. But if he was incredibly sexy and fabulous, who knows…
Lacking a job.
What if they’re rich?
Cheapness or stinginess of any sort is a deal-breaker. You don’t have to blow all your money on me, not even close, but if you’re shorting the waitress a dollar or two because you didn’t think she was all that great, then yeah, we won’t happen.
Lack of interest in the world. Seriously, if you aren’t keeping up with on a basic level what’s going on in the country and the world, what do we even talk about on a first date?
Yes and yes.
In my book, being a vegan is a deal MAKER for me, Petra. :).
Being able to enjoy the pleasures of food together is really important, no matter the genre.