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How Do You Calm Down?
I’ve been reading about the health benefits of mindful meditation. In particular, it’s supposed to be good for insomnia, and since I’m a lousy sleeper, I was curious. Last week, I downloaded a meditation app called Calm, which requires a 5 minute a day commitment, as it guides you through body relaxation and focused breathing. I did feel calmer afterwards, but I’ve only done it once so far. It’s definitely on my to-do list. What works best for you?
Poolside by Daniel Savage
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Last year I took an Introduction to Zen (Soto zen) workshop during a particularly stressful time. It has done wonders for helping me manage stress and remain calm. It was logical, not “wooey-wooey”, and wasn’t about ‘meditation’; instead it was about developing an awareness of everything around you (sights, sounds, smells)and helping you identify ‘what’s really going on’, and not to project your own thoughts/feelings on to things, or focus on one thing too much (giving one thing too much mental attention blows it out of proportion). It’s helped me in times of stress and duress. Maybe my description is “wooey-wooey”, but it’s hard to summarize. Developing that into a ‘sitting practice’ has helped, too.
It has been a lifesaver.
I totally understood what you meant by “wooey-wooey.” How often do you practice?
Wendy, I try to practice twice a week for 30min but I confess it’s difficult.
Thanks for you letting us know about your dinner ritual. It sounds like a lovely, healthy habit.
As recently as this morning, I keep thinking I’m going to get to my Calm app. Still haven’t.
I’ve been meditation once or twice a day (for 10-30 minutes each time) for over a year now and it really does help me calm down. No, it’s not a panacea for my worries and obsessions, but it definitely is part of the solution (exercise helps, too). After trying to start a regular meditation practice numerous times over the years, it finally “took” last winter. I use an ad-hoc method that is part mindfulness, part mantra, part get-to-a-state-of-mind method (mostly mindfulness though). I had a bit of an epiphany last year–in the past I’d always try to focus on my breath. Well, when I do that, I start getting worried and a bit short of breath, so I started focusing on the sounds I hear (even the “buzzing” in my ears when the room is quiet) or focusing on the subtle twinges and tingles of my body. If I tend to drift or worry too much, I switch to a mantra for a while before returning to mindfulness. And I get to a zoned-out, almost thought-free state for a few seconds at a time. It may not sound like much, but I swear that I’m releasing negative energy or something in those few seconds! It’ll typically happen a few times per session.
Like Kathy above, meditation has been a real boon for me (lowered blood pressure, although mine was always normal–now it’s low-normal). And I think another key for me was learning how to stop judging myself (as in “you’re not doing meditation right!”) Some days I feel almost blissful and some days it’s difficult (and I basically sit with my thoughts for 20 minutes); it’s important to understand that this may be where one needs to be that day.
My next goal is to work on mindful eating–too easy to gulp down food without tasting while in front of the computer or with a magazine. I’ll start with mindful breakfasts a couple of times per week and build on it from there.
Every night before I eat and take the first sip of my martini, I force myself to take a few moments to have gratitude. I try to think of at least 5 good things. There are always 5 good things about the day. And then I give an internal shout out to friends who are sick and could use good thoughts. Sadly, that group is pretty big right now. And I end with the Hebrew prayer you say over bread. (Basically, gratitude for the food.) One of the side benefits of this ritual is that it slows me down so I don’t gulp the food.
Re the insomnia, have you ever tried magnesium glycinate? My acupuncturist told me about it, 400 mg at bedtime. I had tried so many other things, from valerian and melatonin (don’t work) to xanax and valium (work but I hate taking that kind of stuff.) And it really does the trick for me, a one-time hardcore insomniac.
I wish I could meditate; I can’t seem to still my mind enough, which probably means I really need it.
I’ve never heard of magnesium gylcinate. I’ll have to research. Thanks!