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What Would You Erase?
There are a couple of choices, that in retrospect seem pivotal, that I would like to redo. It’s a waste of time, really, so I try not to get stuck there. But every once in awhile, I wonder, what if….?
Art by Tom Friedman
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10 comments for “What Would You Erase?”
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Oh Wendy, what I wouldn’t give to erase some past relationships, one in particular. I could say I learned something, and quite possibly one day I’ll be there, but not quite feeling like that now.
Looking back, I’ve feel like I’ve gotten something positive from all my past relationships, even the ones that were terrible and the ones that tore up my heart. But healing time is a critical factor.
Oh, yeah, I know this, especially related to a career decision. And I understand how counterproductive it is to go there, but I would sometimes get into recurring loops. Now, when I find myself going over it, I just remind myself that this is a loop, a sequence of thought I’ve ingrained in myself, one that can be “untrained”.
And sometimes I think, if I’d turned left instead of right, I might’ve gotten hit by a bus. It’s easy for us to remember when something doesn’t turn out the way we want, but we focus less on things that DID turn out well!
Good perspective, Petra. Thanks!
I know we’re all told to never think of the past and there’s no time for regret, but there’s a reason we are all drawn to these memories and engage in self-doubt. Nothing in life is ever truly over. Until your life is over, I don’t think anything you’ve felt or decided or wondered about can ever truly be over because life means possibilities. These things can always come back to the surface again.
The part that gnaws on me is that there are certain choices that can’t be undone. And you just have to live with that.
I turned down a job at Yale and as a result made a major switch in my career path. I don’t regret it per se, but do find myself wondering from time to time where (and who) I would be today if I had taken it.
In general I don’t regret things, even if they were bad decisions, and like you said, Wendy, from even the worst relationships I feel I have learned something about myself.
Plus, you never know if making a different decision about things way back then might not have resulted in something worse, not better!
You and Petra are giving me a perspective that I’d never considered – had we done some things differently, it could’ve ended up worse. I find that very reassuring.
I would erase leaving my excellent job in my hometown in Canada to move to another city with my husband & I would erase leaving him & Canada to move to England …
what a wet bank holiday Sunday will do it you … sigh
I refer you back to Robin and Petra’s comments offering another perspective about choices we regret. Maybe had you stayed at your excellent job, something worse might have happened.