filed in Daily Life
When Do You Ask For Help?
A few years ago, after a brutal winter trip to Denver, I was flattened by a horrible cold. My nasal passages were swollen shut, and the waves of coughing were so violent, they sent my body into tremors. I could barely get off the couch. What I needed was chicken soup, but I didn’t have the energy to walk the two blocks to the deli. When a friend phoned to see how I was doing, he asked if I needed anything. Ordinarily, I would’ve answered no. I’m stubborn that way. But this time, I was not ok. I really needed help. Within an hour, he delivered a container of piping, hot soup to my front door, and it let the healing begin.
Illustration by Ella Frances Sanders
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I’m not good at asking for help either. My mother made me a sampler when I left home (all lovingly hand-stitched) that says ‘Confront me if I don’t ask for help’.
While the message is harsh, it was so beautiful that I hung it anyway, and it went a long way towards teaching me to be better at asking for help because the people close enough to me to visit my place saw it and learned, pretty quickly, that sometimes they just need to step in and help me, since I’m not going to ask even if I’m dying on the sofa…
That’s a fantastic message. I love your mother.