Last spring, I tried a meditation app, and really liked it. But then after awhile, sitting still and concentrating on my breath started slipping to the bottom of my to-do list. Other things, like even sit-ups and washing the refrigerator shelves became more of a priority. Why is it so hard to be quiet?
image via Joe Stanley
Because being single and living alone means 100% of the responsibility for EVERYTHING is on your shoulders. I find it hard to just sit and read a book because my mind floods with 124 things I SHOULD be doing around the house and errands to run. *sigh* Maybe I need to meditate. 🙂
Or maybe you just need to let go of the “shoulds”!
That’s the problem. Shoulds are never good motivators.
Kurt Vonnegut said that he found reading to provide the same effect as meditating (which he called “skin diving in your mind”). He called reading “meditating with another person’s mind,” since you’re effectively spending time inside the writer’s mind.
I like that! I miss Vonnegut.
If you give meditation a try, let us know.
You know, I’ve never been able to meditate successfully. But what has worked for me is *very small* moments of silence or serenity. I’m actually a recovering alcoholic and the serenity prayer was introduced to me through the recovery program. I keep it close at hand when I need it, like when I’m stuck in traffic. I may not be at a point that I can meditate for long stretches but boy — just taking a breath and asking God for serenity works in a pinch. And when I can’t even muster the will to ask God, I’ve been known to mutter “SERENITY NOW” from Seinfeld. That works too!!
Lola, those small moments ARE meditation!
Amen to that!
Beautiful sharing. Thanks, Lola.
Wendy, maybe you haven’t found the right time or meditation style yet. I tried to get into a meditation practice for YEARS, occasionally successful for a week or two or three. But about two years ago, after a breakup, I gave it another try (it was time for some changes in my life). Whether that had anything to do with it, I’m not sure, but I have been successfully meditating since then. At least once, usually twice, per day. My method is an ad-hoc one, sitting silently and feeling the slight bodily sensations (light tingles, heartbeat, that sort of thing). Or I’d listen to the ambient sounds (furnace, creaks in the house, the cars outside, birds). And thoughts would come into my head (they still do!) but I’d shush them away. Sometimes I’d just listen to the buzzing in my ears, that noise one hears during stillness. I guess it’s a sort of mindfulness. Later I added a mantra (Om). I’d repeat that (and the outside thoughts would still come in–it happens!) Sometimes I’d stare ahead into the blackness of my closed eyes. The first time I did it, I was hoping for 5 minutes. I did 10! Now it’s generally 10-25 minutes (usually 18-20) twice a day. And if I miss it for a few days, I can really tell.
I think one of the mistakes I made during those early forays into this was to assume I’d reach some sort of bliss state. Well, um, no. I might get a second of that a few times, but no more than that (and not always either). Another mistake I made was being judgemental about it. I remember telling my massage therapist once that my meditations weren’t as good as they’d been earlier. She reminded me that I shouldn’t be judging that. Light bulb moment–oh, yeah. A third mistake (I’m full of them!) was to focus on my breath. Didn’t work for me–I have asthma and whenever I’d focus on my breath, I’d feel short of breath. And (yes, mistake number 4, although I shouldn’t be judging this!) was to get hung up on the time (i.e. must do this for 20 minutes every time).
I’m currently reading a mindfulness meditation book, so I am becoming more aware of things like non-judgement, acceptance, etc. I think this will move my practice into a different direction. I am interested in the walking meditation. But the bottom line for me is that it’s a positive aspect of my daily life now. That said, there are many ways to do meditation–gardening, dance, etc. Maybe you are meditating, just not formally!
Long-winded response over 🙂
I’m so glad it’s working for you. I don’t have expectations of reaching a bliss state. I’d like to quiet my mind, though.
Agreed with Petra that Lola’s small moments of conscious serenity are perhaps the ultimate goal of any meditation practice…and to grow those moments to minutes to hours to a new way of being.
The silence, for me, is a pathway toward eventually “showing up” differently — more peacefully and more compassionately toward ourselves and others — everywhere we go.
I say gratitude prayers a couple of times a day. And that seems to help quiet my mind a bit and open my heart.
I just read if you have trouble sticking with meditation or yoga, try knitting. The action of knitting is very calming. And there is the added benefit of creating something. For me making things is a very important part of who I am.
I used to knit a lot, but haven’t for years. Maybe it’s time to reconnect.