First Person Singular by Wendy Braitman

Leyla says:

I usually agree with this sentiment, but I’m feeling lonely and isolated right now. I’m just getting over the flu and I underestimated that disease ‘ s ability to drain energy. My serotonin level dropped, my activity levels have dropped, I’ve been working from home to avoid spreading illness, I’ve skipped activities I enjoy such as yoga, horse riding, and singing. So nothing feels right at the moment and I’d rather not be subjected to my own company because I keep telling myself I’m not good enough right now. I know that’s a lie, but I need some form of escape or relief, and something that relief comes in the form of other people, no matter how bad their company might be.

Petra says:

While I agree with the sentiment, it does seem as though “being alone” is still perceived as secondary (the “ideal” situation, if I’m reading this correctly, is that being in good company outranks being alone). But alone time–which I relish–can be so soothing AND rejuvenating AND invigorating! My most favorite vacation was a totally solo one (a road trip, so LOTS of alone time). Love a balance between the two–“good company” time and alone time. I wouldn’t want to have to give either up!

I have recently started dating someone who lives a couple of hours away, so my weekends are pretty booked. As much as I love spending time with him, I do sometimes miss having weekends entirely to myself. Maybe it’s because I’ve lived by myself for most of my adult life (and never with a significant other, only some roommates). We do give each other space, which is very important to me.

Now, I hope that by the time I write this, Leyla is well on the road to recovery. Sending healing thoughts your way, Leyla–and if you are already recovered, just bank these!

Petra says:

Met him online (OKCupid). I did have to go through a fair amount of detritus, though (including a couple who misrepresented their education–I’m not a snob about that, but don’t tell me you have a master’s degree if your highest level of education is an associate’s, because I’ll never be able to believe anything else you say). We spend Friday night to Sun. morning or noon together, as well as a weekly phone call. We do text, but it’s not constant. If I have an event with other friends on a weekend, he either amuses himself or he joins me (if it’s something where a +1 is suitable).

I have my evenings and I have Sunday afternoon/evening to do a little cooking for the week (we frequently cook together on Saturdays as well). Sometimes I have work to do and he gives me the time for that.

I’m 55 and this is probably the most fun, yet adult relationship I’ve had. I am enjoying this and living it in the moment.