filed in Myths and stereotypes
Single Anxiety, Debunked
When I’ve surveyed single people about what they most fear, what regularly comes up is the anxiety of aging and dying alone. That’s why I love this tweet by Saeed Jones, distilling comments made by Rebecca Traister, author of All the Single Ladies.
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15 comments for “Single Anxiety, Debunked”
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I have been saying this for years. Just about everyone dies alone. But frankly, I think it’s LIVING alone that is the real issue for many people. Fortunately women who are or have been single for long parts of their adult lives have learned to live alone (and even relish it!) We work to build social networks and support, we follow our own joys, passions, interests, and we know how to spend time with and by ourselves. We have learned independence.
Speaking of which, happy Independence Day weekend all!
Here’s to independence!
Petra: I agree that most will admit that they may die alone, but they don’t want to live alone. In fact, that is the very argument a friend gave me when I tried to talk about the merits of single life. She was not having any of it (despite the fact that she herself is single).
I know that this sounds like a platitude, but I really believe it – there are pros and cons to being married and being single. And I believe there are workarounds for each. The key is making the most of your life, whatever your marital status.
For many, living single is just a second-rate life.
I’m sorry that person feels that way about her own life. I enjoy it. There are some practical drawbacks, but when I think of the compromise that it takes just to get through the day as a couple, I know I couldn’t trade this peace for anything. It’s funny they mention the fear of dying alone. We’re all afraid of dying on some level or another. I’m afraid of the finality of marriage-that you’re in a union until you die. That union would seem to hasten death and bring it to the forefront of my mind more than anything.
My parents were lucky in love and marriage. I believe they were happy together. So for them, it worked. But I appreciate the freedom.
There was an era where that was true. But in my cultural experience, that time has passed.
I was just working with my financial advisor about long term care insurance and I thought I really needed this because I have no one else to care for me when I get old and disabled. I think that is what I fear most. Being old, alone and really sick.
I’ve had long-term care insurance for years. And even if you’re in a couple, what’s the likelihood that your aging partner will have the capacity to care for you.
What does long term care insurance cover? How old were you when you started your policy? I’m curious as it’s something for me to consider down the road.
This is a policy I got thru work in 2012. I was 62 at the time. It covers things like nursing facilities, assisted living hospice care etc. there is a per died amount that they pay. My mother also has one she’s had for years (she’s 92). It isn’t cheap though I think that the younger you are when you get it, the cheaper it is – although they will increase premiums as you age. My financial advisor says that I’ll have to assess at some time how much I’m paying for it and reducing my assets versus how beneficial it would be.
My financial advisor, who I totally trust, really encouraged me to get it. I was 51. Here’s a good article about it: http://bit.ly/1c4C1a4
Happy independence day indeed! I don’t mind being single so much, I don’t know many people who’s marriages I’d trade my single life for. Only thing I’d change is more single friends to spend time with.
And if not single friends, at least married friends who will make time for you away from their spouses.