filed in Daily Life
It’s Good to Be Home
I’ve lived alone for years. I’m used to going about the domestic business of my life without company. Last week, I was in Boston visiting my brother and sister-in-law. They’re extremely gracious, but the quarters were small, and I had little privacy. After a long (and delayed) flight home, arriving at 1 AM, I was thrilled to open the door to my own apartment.
Photo by Adam J Kurtz
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20 comments for “It’s Good to Be Home”
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Home is nice. I try to treat myself well there so it always feels like a sanctuary. I don’t always succeed at this.
When I first moved into my apartment, it was like being in an alien environment. I kept wanting to walk in the door and feel like home. And finally one day, it happened. And I’ve been soaking it up every since. Leyla, what would make your home feel more like a sanctuary?
I love my space all to myself. My parents 47th anniversary was yesterday. They get along pretty good still but all I can think is “47 years! With the same person! How?”. Even though my own parents have done a pretty good job at marriage it still seems pretty daunting. The longer I live alone the more daunting I’m sure it will seem 😉
Congratulations to your parents. That’s quite an accomplishment. It’s probably harder to imagine from the outside than when you’re in it, day to day. I can’t get past having to share a bathroom.
I couldn’t agree more re: living alone! I had roommates for years (living in NYC), and now having my own home feels so decadent. Looking back, it was actually fun having someone to chat with after work, or watch a movie with… but I will take solo living ANY day.
I remember hearing that anecdote about Woody and Mia waving to each other from opposite ends of Central Park, in their own apartments. That sounds like a perfect romantic living arrangement to me 🙂
I will also add… in the not-so-distant past it was perfectly normal for married couples to have separate beds, or even separate rooms. I know several couples with separate bathrooms and said they wouldn’t have it any other way.
I think the more recent assumption that couples should share every aspect of living together works for some, but feels stifling for many. This is something I’ve certainly learned about myself, and recently I’ve been trying to be more open-minded about what a long-term partnership might look like for me, living-wise.
Had to go off on a tangent, there 😉
Thanks for sharing, Jess. Go off on a tangent anytime!
I also enjoyed having roommates. But in my last situation, we lived in a big house with 2 floors, our own bathrooms and home offices. That made it easy to find distance when we needed it. I have to agree, I prefer living alone.
Home–I LOVE having my own place. It’s a comfort to me–looking forward to my own space at the end of the work day.
I had roommates through grad school (master’s) but managed to work it so I had my own space during my Ph.D. program (amazing what one can afford when one is frugal and cooks instead of going out to eat). Loved it then and love it now. I can decorate my way, I don’t have to talk to anyone if I don’t want to (and I use the phone if I DO want to!). When I come home and step into my house, I feel like my home is hugging me!
Like Jess, it IS nice to have someone to chat with, but I wouldn’t want it 24/7. I have a colleague who used to get lonely when her husband was on the road for a couple of days, something I never understood. When I did have roommates (and they were wonderful people) I still relished the evenings when I had the place to myself.
I am in a relationship, but given the distance, we see each other on weekends. So I still have my alone time during the week and my together time weekends.
You have constructed an amazing life, Ms. P.
It’s quite nice, but there’s room for improvement
And improve I will! That said, I have the most wonderful friends and it’s hard to improve on that. And that includes the FPS community.
I can hardly describe how grateful I am for all of you. Not a day goes by that I’m not saying thank you!
Petra, it sounds like you’ve struck the perfect balance of alone/together. I believe that the alone time makes the together time that much more special.
Your coworker sounds like my good friend- she once told me that when her husband/kids are out of the house, that’s her cue to walk over to the neighbor’s house to chat. Eek! I want to crawl under the covers and hide just thinking about that 🙂
Not very fair to the neighbor to use her (assuming “her”) as a loneliness crutch.
Could be the neighbor enjoys it. After my mother died, my father (her husband of 46 years) had ZERO interest in spending time alone. He had no experience with it.
That was my first thought as well, Petra, but it sounded like the neighbor was just as game for drop-in company.
I think I read once that extroverts are more common than introverts… not sure if this is scientifically true, but it sure seems that way in the world sometimes…
I have a single friend – a self described extrovert – who hates being alone. It’s a real driving force for her.
In the coworker and friend’s defense, I think we get used to our situations – whether alone or with constant company. I get that.
Very true! I lived with a boyfriend once. When he moved out to take a job out of state it was so wierd and quiet. Now I can hardly imagine sharing my space.
My dog fills a lot of the empty space in my home. She’s great company.