filed in Myths and stereotypes
Enough of Not Enough-ism
Over the course of a long dating life, I’ve heard a few of these “pitfalls” as an explanation for why I don’t have a husband. #Basta
New Yorker cartoon by Liana Finck
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Too notice-y??? WTH is that?
What’s your best guess?
The opposite of too quiet? Or the opposite of too plain?
Ah, like noticeable?
To me, “notice-y” is more like one notices too much (and then perhaps complains about what has been noticed, or perhaps even just comments on it, or perhaps even celebrates it). This could refer to noticing another person’s faults (which is probably what garners “pitfall” status), but can also extend to just noticing what’s around one, and thereby making the person administering the “notice-y” judgement feel inadequate. I’ve seen this more than once!
That sounds right.
Too independent. I absolutely LOVE your list, seems like we just can’t be accepted for who we are but should sacrifice ourselves and “settle” …..not gonna happen, so here we are ….
Not gonna happen here!
the last guy I dated actually sat me down and named off my “toos” It was pretty harsh. Especially when they are the worst things I think about myself, it is hard to hear it confirmed out loud by someone.
Ugh. I’m sorry Amy. Would you like to share any of his “toos?”
The one that stung was “too introverted” because I know this about myself but don’t see it as something that is going to change anytime soon. I think he just had a certain idea of what he wanted in a girlfriend and I just disappointed him. It was a good learning experience for me though, it is so not worth being with someone that cannot see your worth.
That’s really good and important learning, Amy.
I only just recently woke up to some of the reasons I do not have a wife and children. Honestly, some of them are hard to stomach. But I am now and forever going to be ruthless honest with myself.
To be honest with yourself is good (I’m not sure about the “ruthless” part). But be kind and generous with yourself, as well.