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7 Things We Endure About Dating Sites
1. I’m no conspiracy theorist, but three men who eagerly initiated contact, then pledged to call me but never did, all used the phrase, “I’m a man of integrity,” in their profiles.
2. Can’t we agree to stop lying about our age?
3. Pssst. Men whose only photos are wearing baseball caps, you’re not fooling anyone.
4. Winks from the obviously incompatible, in my case Conservative Christians from states too far away for a coffee date.
5. Winks, period. If you’re interested, send an email.
6. Long-winded profiles with tyypos.
7. Overly cutesy usernames:
Iwantuuplz
Out4u1moretime
Anygood1left4me
Sirhikealot
Poddoorisopen
Lets_steal_stuff
Ripefreddieboy
Whatdebleep
MeNoCaveman (actually, that is pretty cute. Might have to revisit.)
Please add to the list!
Image: Liar, 1993, by John Wesley
Discussion
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Knights in shining armor who are looking for someone to “complete” them. Ugh.
Bad stock photos of Stepfordesque happy couples?
No photo! If they’re afraid to show a picture, Lord knows what’s in store for us!
Men who list “Cuddling” as a hobby
Men who take their own picture in a mirror with their cell phone.
Men who include pics of them in costume.
I’d like to add to that men who post photos of themselves posing alongside their cars. Or even better, just a photo of their car, no human in sight.
I’ve noticed that people are posting a lot more photos of scenic places on their online profiles (without them in it). I suppose it adds ambience, but I just don’t get it.
Old, dated photos!
Photos with children or pets.
One sentence emails.
And inappropriate usernames like “hotrocks”–that is, unless you’re a geologist or vulcanologist.
Listing “I enjoy hanging out with friends” as though it says anything about you.
Can’t we agree that the majority of us do? That’s why they’re our friends.
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Those who actually use the stock pick-up lines provided by the site to get your attention:
“Pass the tartar sauce, cause you’re a real catch!”
“Call the fire department, because you’re smokin’!”
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People who when describing their ideal mate, start with “attractive. . .”
I always nix those ones right away.
Put a personality trait—ANY personality trait–first, for goodness’ sake. Smart, funny, likes hedgehogs. Anything.
OH, and also photos where someone they had their arm around has been cut out.
Christina
Men who don’t use punctuation or capital letters.
Men who say they like long walks on the beach, or are laid back, have GSOH or who want a lady who takes care of herself.
there’s a reason you women are single – even when someone puts a lot of thought into their response, you’re unlikely to actually see any value in it. I think the problem is that you like the perpetual feeling of being desired, but not the person who does the desiring. Online dating is a vice of the ego. I’m guessing you’re an OkCupid user too, no wonder you’ve got this inflated sense of importance. Anyone can receive a 100 messages a day, but in the wash you will lose the valuable messages that men ‘of integrity’ will sense. Perhaps these men also realized that you are just there to self-aggrandize and moved on.
GSOH? Isn’t that the name of some kind of drug?
I can’t believe that folks actually use certain stock pick-up lines. I’m not sure I’d want to date a woman who’d actually fall for them!
Anyway, another thing we all endure about dating sites is people with whom we have wonderful back-and-forth private-message exchanges until one day when either through no fault of our own or perhaps if we’ve made a minor faux-pas of some sort, we never hear from them again. Making someone disappear is just too damn easy.
“i’m a great kisser”.
really?
and how old are you?
Guys who state they are “attractive” or “good looking”. Eye of the beholder,fella. Annoying.
One guy called himself “Iam2good4you”
What are they thinking?
Profile photos with children that are not your own and those with the opposite sex… While these are not reasons to totally nix reading a profile, I do find it annoying.
Unless, you have kids and it is a part I must accept to date you – I can find out you really love your nephew talking with you because my first assumption from the photo is ‘he’s got kids.’
The photos with another woman that is not obviously an older relative is a near skip without reading for me. Why are you on a dating site with a photo of yourself with a woman? I can’t tell if it is your sister or an ex. I usually do not read to find out.
Guys who are looking for a “partner in crime.” Or who you bust as sending you–and your friend who is also on the site– the same long email verbatim. Or who tell you how they find you incredibly attractive. Really?
You can tell when they send a generic email, even though it sounds specific. Totally bugs me too.
Ladies, stop lying about your age. It’s a lie, nothing white about it, and it says bad things about you, like your not being able to deal with who you are.
Other stuff I could do without:
Excessively picky people, whose peeves show they are alone for a reason. Don’t settle. But some of the stuff I’m seeing here says you just aren’t destined to like anyone.
People who expect perfection on dating sites.
People who say they are great. I don’t know that. I haven’t met you. Complimenting oneself is not likely to endear one to me. Tell me what you like to do and where you like to go. Don’t tell me your sense of humor is great; don’t tell me you are beautiful; don’t…you get the pic.
Forgot one:
People who use abbreviations like GSOH (which no is NOT an acronym) without spelling them out. God Sold Old Hands may be a bad thing. But how would I know?
So of course I think of two more.
– pics of where you have been. I have been places too. I WANT TO SEE WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE; otherwise this is utterly blind. And I don’t blind date for a reason. Close-ups, both face and full body. I don’t need to say recent. I know I don’t.
– pics of your pets. If you like them that much, yellow flag. Besides: I WANT TO SEE WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE.
I second the previous comment by blarneyguy: I don’t want to date your cat.
Just curious. Did I come to a blog that was meant to encourage women only to be once again harangued by guys? I’ll show you my body when I feel you’ve earned the privilege of seeing it. The problem with the guys I know, is that they love to look at my body, they just don’t have the guts to do anything except look.
Cindi, I’m not sure exactly what you mean by your question. And but please, tell me more.
Wendy, I think it’s pretty obvious what Cindi meant.
If you read the last several posts before hers, a few grumpy men left posts harassing and insulting the women who post at this blog.
I agree with what Cindi said in her post.
I’d also add that many men are way too obsessed with physical appearance (of women), which annoys me to no end.
Most want a perfect fashion model type, but they themselves are fat, bald, and/or out of shape, which only adds to the annoyance factor.
I refuse to date men I find unattractive, so this works both ways.
Girls who describe themselves like this; “LOL im a bubbly sociable lady just up 4 a laff really LOL!!!!!! Luv 2 travil wiv me m8s n get waisted LOL!!!!!! Wot im lookin 4 is sum1 tall dark n handsome but den life isnt perfick LOL!!!!! so ill settle for 2nd best sow R U dat special, inferior person? Must have Brad Pitt esque physique, money, a BMW, and a cement mixer 4 massiv cocktails LOL!!!!!!”
Or anyone who describes their appearance as “very attractive”. That’s for other people to decide, you narcissistic spoon.
“Just curious. Did I come to a blog that was meant to encourage women only to be once again harangued by guys?”
No.
(Women who need encouragement to live. Another thing I hate.)
You came to a site for single PEOPLE; look at what you ladies have posted and ask what a guy should think of that. Exactly. WHO IS HARANGUING YOU?!?!?!
“I’ll show you my body when I feel you’ve earned the privilege of seeing it.”
No photo, no date. Good luck. (It’s your rule too, don’t lie.) I will give you the privilge of dating me when I’ve seen you.
(Women who like to say “he thinks he’s God’s gift to women,” when what they think of themselves could be interpreted the same way. Another thing I hate. Just sayin’.)
I could go on. Let’s just cut to my point: the point of this blog was obvious. Women and men responded in kind. Taking it personally is something you should see as a yellow flag, and do something about. Thin-skinnedness will not help you in the dating game.
I will also spell “privilege” better in future posts.
See?
I am always annoyed by a man who gives an age range for his potential date that is closer to the ages of his children, but the upper end of that range cannot even be his own age.
That age thing is so maddening.
Great post: very entertaining and real. I think I’m done with online dating. I did decide to reduce my age from 41(actual) to 39 and the spike in replies from men in my peer group rose dramatically over night. Most men in my peer group (I consider that to be late 30’s-late 40’s) will only search for women up to age 39 (as if 40+ is past the best-buy date).
Then, I got a case of the “the man I want will love that I’m 41: the rest of you can suck it”. Immediately, the contacts reduced from men in my peer group to almost zero but increased from those age 50+.
Haha.
There’s so much truth in this. People seem to think they can get away with dishonesty online but it’s always gonna go sour whenever they meet up in the real world. I don’t understand it!
How about, “love to laugh and have a good time.”
Um….who DOESN’T?
Photos.
Men with fish, when was that ever attractive
Men in cars that they clearly could never afford
Men with children
Men with no tops on
Football shirts
Motorbikes
Bad or missing teeth pics
No tops on is definitely the worst.