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Are There Times When It’s Essential to Have a Partner?
At my cousin’s wedding some years ago, right after the newlyweds glided through their first dance, the guests got up en masse to join them. Looking around at the scant few still left in their chairs (that would be me and the old ladies), it was as if there was a neon sign above my head broadcasting the word, LOSER. Since then, I’ve always wanted to bring a plus one to a wedding. Tell me, please, in what circumstance have you really wished you had company?
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Samba Moves, 1953 from Vintage Scans
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17 comments for “Are There Times When It’s Essential to Have a Partner?”
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“Losers”? Yikes.
It is a reflection on the wedding, not the singles, if within a few songs everybody is NOT dancing with each other.
A question is whether the wedding guests and DJ know dance music and a few steps of a few dances. Dances + dance music.
If he knows how to dance a little, a man can lead Grandma, the 14-yr-old niece, or the interesting single lady in his age range, AND learn a few steps from ladies, too. But only “couples” can sway back and forth if you don’t know how to dance and the DJ is playing “Stairway to Heaven.”
If at a wedding people only “dance” with their relationship partner, happy or unhappy, is that a poor reflection on the singles?
Is a wedding not an opportunity to meet new people, if you’re “looking”?
Is it harder if you show up with a date not in a relationship with you, just to avoid attending alone?
At my friend’s beautiful wedding last month, everyone was dancing with each other. It was so much fun. But in general, it seems that people mostly dance with their relationship partners.
Having just come back from a lovely trip to Chicago, I would say evenings when traveling are a time when I wish I had a partner. Although I’m willing to sit in restaurants by myself, it’s always nicer when there’s someone to share the meal with and my fellow diners aren’t staring at me strangely.
For some reason, I’m more comfortable dining alone when I’m traveling than in my own city.
I agree with Richard about dancing at weddings. I don’t see many people who know how to truly dance with a partner anymore – this ability enables anyone to dance with many partners and bring a feeling of inclusiveness to any event.
The one time I truly wished for company was when I was traveling by myself through Europe after graduating university: On day two, I awoke with severe inflammation in the tendons around my knees (backpack too heavy/sudden increase in distances walked). I’d have loved to have my then-boyfriend there to help and encourage me. Instead, I decided that this travel opportunity was too rare to squander. I mailed half my stuff home, wore tensor bandages around my knees for the next nine weeks, and headed to the French Riviera for a week of relaxation on the beach. That week off only temporarily eased the inflammation, but caused a lovely detour in my life, which wouldn’t have happened if my wish for company had come true. At other times during those nine weeks I still wished for his company (when I was in a lot of pain), but am grateful for making it on my own.
Great story, Kathy, reflecting a lot of grit and a happy ending.
Movies on a Friday or Saturday night.
Going to a state fair or theme park.
Concerts, depending on who the act is and where they are playing.
I would add weddings, but I don’t go to weddings anymore, period.
I’ve gotten really good at going to movies by myself. And in many cases, I prefer it. But I totally agree about concerts. And theme parks (if I went to them) seems like it would be a lot more fun with company.
I really have the hardest times at family weddings when I am alone. I don’t need to have a man but a good friend to keep me ground in the fact that I am not a total failure because I am not married.
This weekend I am going to a wedding of a friend of my boyfriend and I have no emotional baggage weighting on me because it isn’t a family wedding. I might be able to truly enjoy myself.
I don’t mind going solo at a wedding unless it is a very formal event at which I am unlikely to know many of the other attendees. If I am sure there will be plenty of other friends or friendly relatives around, it’s often more fun to mingle at will, catching up with people I haven’t seen in a while without feeling like I am leaving my date out of the conversations.
Similarly, I don’t mind flying solo if I am going to a concert or movie where I know my attention will be engrossed by the subject matter.
When I most want company, though, is any event at which (1) dancing is major part of the activity (not necessarily true at weddings, depending on the make-up of the attendees), and/or (2) I am unsure of whether there will be sufficient “entertainment” unless I bring along another good conversationalist. Theme parks may fall into the 2nd category; for every 3 minutes spent on the roller coaster, there are 12 minutes of walking and standing.
I like company when I’m going to parties and need an anchor. I brought my dog once to a BBQ and it was great.
I long for a companion when I’m traveling for work. It sounds odd b/c going out of town for work would mean leaving my partner. But on those nights when I come back to my hotel room, I always wish I had someone back home to call, in a way, to connect to home.
Movies – I love movies by myself. In fact, I’ve pretty much given up on going with other people (people show up late, don’t want to sit in the same place, and the worst – talk to you during the movie!)
I’m in complete agreement with you, Lola, about going to the movies alone. I love it too!
Movies and concerts. I have started braving the concerts by myself, but I still can’t seem to get to movies without someone with me!
Since I now find going to the movies alone such a no brainer, I’m wondering Kathryn why that seems the harder of the two?
Just thought of one–putting together certain pieces of IKEA furniture!
A few months ago, I bought a small table at Crate & Barrel, which required some assembly. I’m talking BASIC assembly, putting in a few screws and tightening them. It was another one of those situations that had anyone been watching, they’d be rolling in laughter at how long it took me. But I got it done.