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How Flexible Are You?
It’s election eve and I’m steeped in partisan politics. I’ve heard from people who’ve erupted with relatives, friends and work mates. And since I don’t want to go there, I’m cocooning myself with those who share my point of view. I once dated a man who voted differently than me, but it wasn’t very comfortable. What about you? Could you hold someone close from the other side of the aisle?
Illustration by Geoff Mcfetridge
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14 comments for “How Flexible Are You?”
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Great question Wendy! Probably not for me-I believe that our political beliefs are shaped by our personal values and experiences, how we see ourselves in the world and how we regard one another. I had an experience where my potential significant other would go from 0-60 with his temper during a discussion of our political differences and he knew it upset me so then he’d never want to discuss that particular topic. Thank goodness I dodged that bullet. I don’t think that two people who are sharing a life should have a topic that is off limits.
I’m with you, Kate. I state my political preferences clearly on dating profiles, so there’s no misunderstanding.
I would have a tough time. I tend be rather apolitical due to my time in the military (service members usually are apolitical–not anymore I’ve noticed), but I would find it difficult to hold my tongue. Tough around friends and family who are polar opposites politcally. I also agree with Kate…our experiences shape us politcally as well.
I’m glad to be on the same page politically as most of my family, so we don’t have to squabble about politics. We can safe that for other things.
For me it would depend how much the other person is hugging the far side of the aisle. I take a dim view of political extremism on both sides….I am not crazy about either candidate, or rather, I see the flaws in both. I think part of the problem is that political opinion has become so incredibly polarized. I have friends who are so rabid on one end of the spectrum I think they would disown me if they even knew I was ‘moderate’. That said, the two of them (a married couple) are perfectly suited to each other in their commitment to their position.
I consume a lot of media, and I try to read opinions from all sides of the spectrum, so at least I can understand where people of differing political beliefs are coming from.
My first long term relationship was with someone who had VERY different political beliefs. In the beginning I was glad just to meet someone who was INVOLVED and paying attention, but though we split for other reasons I am sure it would have been our undoing eventually.
Now that I’m older I don’t think I’d even make it past a first date with someone with the opposite views. There are just fundamental differences in the way we feel about our obligations to society that I don’t think I could get past!
Every time I vote, I know I am cancelling my ex-husbands vote. EVERY time… Guess why he’s my ex-husband?
Camla, Another excellent motivation to get out and vote.
like you, wendy, and sarahjean, i couldn’t sustain a sexual relationship with a man whose politics were opposite mine. i do have friends with very different political views, though. my best friend is married to an extreme opposite politically. the marriage is hell.
It’s always been hard to explain James Carville and Mary Matalin.
There are some deal breakers (e.g. social and religious conservatism). I used to state that on my online dating profile. I could not date someone with socially conservative views, period. Minor political differences, fine. Major political differences, no. This is not like differing tastes in music (though I’d probably have to turn down someone who was very into contemporary “hit” country, though alt country is ok!)
Similar to Camla, I’m canceling out my ex-husband’s vote every election. It didn’t seem like a big deal when we were first married, but the differences grew. Our world views really were pretty far apart. I would never get into another relationship with someone with such opposite political views.
I can’t imagine it either, Beth. I’d be too frustrated.