filed in Daily Life
Feminine Mystique
Illustration by Emily McDowell
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13 comments for “Feminine Mystique”
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Uh, this has always been my wish list, handed down to me by my Mother, handed down to her by her Mother, probably handed down to her by her Mother, etc., etc., etc. It doesn’t seem sick until you see it in writing does it?
I’ve had a similar list from my mother, though the messages were always mixed.
Well, I’m a good cook! But I’m also a good eater, so those cancel each other.
I’m also good at sports, if using the rowing machine while watching old episodes of “Arrested Development” on Netflix counts.
Guess I’m well on my way to being a girl. Sheesh!
I like watching sports. I guess that didn’t make the cut.
It’s exhausting reading all those friggin’ qualifiers. Who needs that?
I like the art work.
The sweetness of the art contrasts with the judging aspect of the content–nice.
What would the Guy Test look like?
I’d love to read your version.
Here goes “The Boy Test”
Tall
Thin…
…But Stocky-Barrel Chested
Hairy…
Only on Head
Size doesn’t matter…
But it does
Sexy
Gentle in bed…
Spoon Gentle…
Rough…
50 Shades Rough
Communicate during Sex…
Shut up already and get down to business
Have no baggage…
Because I of course have none
Love your mom…
Not too much
Give me my independence…
Except if you want to watch football…
Then do something with me that involves shopping or an art gallery…
Perhaps shopping at an art gallery…
It has to be Sun between 1-4 or 4-7 EST…
Whenever the Jets are playing, basically.
Don’t talk about Monty Python
Understand when I don’t make sense…
Repeat…Understand when I don’t make sense…
Which never really happens, of course.
Listen to me but don’t offer suggestions/solutions to my problems…
Unless I want you to make a suggestion/offer a solution…
But don’t ASK me if you should make a suggestion/offer a solution…
Just KNOW when to hold/when to fold
Be successful in your work…
Not necessary in monetary terms…
OK, who are we kidding here…
If you are starting a business or non-profit or are a teacher, we’re probably not right for each other.
Net worth over $1 mil + $150K annual income
Neat
Know how to fold a fitted-sheet
I would love for someone to teach me how to fold a fitted sheet.
My aunt Fern tried but failed. I start off well with the fitted sheet folding (cup one end into the other) and then, he sheet kind of starts to collapse in on itself and then, George Costanza-style, I start fighting with the dang thing. I usually lose.
I’d be embarrassed if anyone watched me folding fitting sheets. It’s really pathetic.