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I Don’t
This weekend, I watched two films that made me happy to be single. Before Midnight is the latest installment in a trilogy of films exploring the almost 20-year relationship between an American (Ethan Hawke) and a Frenchwomen (Julie Delpy) who had first met on a train in Vienna and fallen in love. They are now middle-aged with twin girls and a well-entrenched pattern of fighting. The film is amazing and excruciating in how intimately it takes us into the evolution of passion. Then on Sunday, plopped on the couch, I grimaced through Hope Springs starring Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones as a couple married for over 30 years whose relationship is in crisis. I kept wondering what they ever saw in each other. At the end of the weekend, I smugly got into bed, alone.
Sculpture by Will Cotton
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Was “Before Midnight” worth seeing? I loved “Before Sunrise” and “Before Sunset”. “Hope Springs” was not only uncomfortable from a watching a horrible marriage, it just wasn’t a good film. And, yeah, it made me think “how did these two ever get together”.
Before Midnight is definitely worth seeing. It’s incredible. And you’re right, Hope Springs is a terrible movie.
I loved Before Sunset. I’m a little afraid of Before Midnight, though. I just want it all to be ok for them and I’m afraid it won’t be… 🙂
Part of me is afraid, too. I want it to succeed because of how they met and the romance of it all, and the hope that love can endure past the whirlwind chemistry. Part of me is waiting for confirmation that kids and the day-to-day grind take too much of a toll.
There’s an excellent TED talk about the secret to desire in a long-term relationship.
Fingers crossed for the movie. I wonder whether they did as many (or any?) one-take shots as they did in the first one.
There are a few really long one-take shots that are amazing.
Don’t be afraid. That’s all I’ll say.
I just re-watched Before Sunrise and Before Sunset in preparation for Before Midnight (it’d been a long while). Glad to hear it’s worth seeing. It was interesting to see how I experienced the movies as my older, more-relationship-experienced self.
How did it feel different, Maria?
I was about 22 when Before Sunrise came out and I remember being drawn in by the romanticism of the story. This time around, I was seeing her neurotic behavior and his cynicism in a different light (more realistically, I mean). I was also struck by how they were both clearly more experienced and a bit more cynical in the 2nd film, which I do not remember thinking when I saw it originally. On another note, Ethan Hawke looks better now then he did in Before Sunset, for some reason.
I still have a crush on Ethan Hawke. I read a sweet interview with him today, which only heightened it.
Very late to this conversation. I was just reading through the archives and found this post. I have to say that I was extremely excited to see Before Midnight when it was released because I absolutely loved the first two installments and these two characters. Before Midnight left me depleted and I felt as though it ruined the first two films for me. I liked the romantic and hopeful tone of the first two and the message of the third was that life is no fairy tale. It sort of reminded me of the HBO film, Dinner with Friends, about two couples. One of the couples is going through a divorce and revealing how hard it is to maintain romantic love over the long haul.
These movies make me realize that marriage isn’t going to save anyone. We can wish we were married, but it’s not the cure that most movies and love songs lead everyone to believe. We want so desperately to believe that marriage is something it can’t be. I’ve come to believe it’s an incredibly optimistic thing to do — getting married.
Movies like Before Midnight give a more realistic portrait of marriage. It’s just a little hard to take when you’re used to the fairy tales!
Before Midnight has since been making the rounds of premium cable. But I’ve never wanted to watch even a minute of it again. Once was harrowing enough.